The Modern Jonas

You know there goes a tale,
How Jonas went on board a whale,
Once, for a frolic;
And how the whale
Set sail
And got the cholic;
And, after a great splutter,
Spew'd him up upon the coast,
Just like woodcock on a toast,
With trail and butter.

There also goes a joke,
How Clinton went on board the Duke
Count Rochambeau to fight;
As he didn't fail
To set sail
The first fair gale,
For once we thought him right;
But, after a great clutter,
He turn'd back along the coast,
And left the French to make their boast,
And Englishmen to mutter.

Just so, not long before,
Old Knyp,
And old Clip
Went to the Jersey shore,
The rebel rogues to beat;
But, at Yankee farms,
They took alarms,
At little harms,
And quickly did retreat.

Then after two days' wonder,
March'd boldly up to Springfield town,
And swore they'd knock the rebels down.
But as their foes
Gave them some blows,
They, like the wind,
Soon changed their mind.
And, in a crack,
Returned back,
From not one third their number.