A New Miracle or Dr. Nomans Safe Return from the Grand Turks Court at

All you that have formerly seen me,
What a monster of Wonders I am
You'll think the Devil is in me
And wonder how here I came:
The same Mouth in the mid'st of my Face,
Some reason there is to devide it,
It can no more hang, nor disgrace,
Now my Chin turns up for to hide it.

Last Night by Mahomet and Tap,
I with the Grand Turk did dispute
There's no one can blame me for that,
He forc'd my Sirreverance to't.
He Lattin and Greek did Frame,
To which I could not Replie,
Then asked, was my Name,
But the Devil a Name had I.

He asked who made me a Doctor,
I told him I was no Pope.
The Court fell into a Laughter
And swore my Brain was too short.
He askt what was my Education,
I told him, to Swear and to Lye
And Bugger all Bums in his Nation,
And himself sometimes by the bye.

He began to stare and look madder,
And turn'd me amongst my Bums,
I bang'd them about with my Ruder
Till they broke in amongst his Nuns.
I fell o'th' bones of his Boys,
My Bums full tilt at his Whores,
The Lamps blown out and Flamboies,
And we at it upon the Flores.

Th' Old Signior with Lanthorn came stumbling
And saw in what posture we lay,
The white Tails of his Misses were tumbling
Th' Old Rogue knew not what to say.
He called in all his Attendance,
And Guards about the Court,
Who i'th' midst of our game did offend us,
And spoiled the best of our sport.

They came with long Hangers & Switches,
And swore they would Murther and Geld,
Then I ran away without Breeches
And all my Courage was queld.
Through forty Key-holes I vanisht
And left the Seraglio clear,
Then mounted my Spirit well manag'd
Came to London e'r day did appear.

All this is Truth by Mahomet
If e're swore Truth before,
And whoever makes questions upon, it
He's a Papist and Son of a Whore.
And now it can be no Crime,
For a Blew Protestant to believe,
That I was i'th' Strand the same time
And in Spain, at S. De Olive.