Nursery Reminiscences

I remember, I remember,
When I was a little Boy,
One fine morning in September
Uncle brought me home a toy.

I remember how he patted
Both my cheeks in kindliest mood;
"Then," said he, "you little Fat-head,
There's a top because you're good!"

Grandmama--a shrewd observer--
I remember gazed upon
My new top, and said with fervour,
"Oh! how kind of Uncle John!"

While Mama, my form caressing,--
In her eye the tear-drop stood,
Read me this fine moral lesson,
"See what comes of being good!"

I remember, I remember,
On a wet and windy day,
One cold morning in December,
I stole out and went to play;

I remember Billy Hawkins
Came, and with his pewter squirt
Squibb'd my pantaloons and stockings
Till they were all over dirt!

To my mother for protection
I ran, quaking every limb:
--She exclaimed, with fond affection,
"Gracious Goodness! look at him!"--

Pa cried, when he saw my garment,
--'Twas a newly-purchased dress--
"Oh! you nasty little Warment,
How came you in such a mess?"

Then he caught me by the collar,
--Cruel only to be kind--
And to my exceeding dolour,
Gave me--several slaps behind.

Grandmama, while yet I smarted,
As she saw my evil plight,
Said--'twas rather stony-hearted--
"Little rascal! sarve him right!"

I remember, I remember,
From that sad and solemn day,
Never more in dark December
Did I venture out to play.

And the moral, which they taught, I
Well remember; thus they said--
"Little Boys, when they are naughty,
Must be whipped and sent to bed!"