A Woman of the World

I

As to my soul--'tis pathos and passion.
As to my life--'t hath a flavor of sin.
What would you have when such is the fashion,
Was and will be of the world we are in?
Yes, I have loved. And have you?--Have you reckoned
The cost of all love?--I can tell you: as much
As a soul!--Is it worth it?--You'll know it that second
You know that you love; and God pity all such!

II

My lover dissembled that ardor's pure beauty.
I endured undeceived nor pretended; and gave
All that his passion demanded--my duty,
For I loved. And the world?--why, I was his slave!--
Should it worry I pleased him?--Propriety sorrowed,
Uprolling her eyes as occasion, and--well,
That lie, overglossed with a modesty borrowed,
Assisted my fall and the end was--I fell.

III

Through love? No; the woman! that visible woman
Men usually know.--None knows how we know
Of an innermore beauty! that part of the human
We designate character.--Look at the bow
Of the moon that is new; that bears in its crescent
A world.--So the flesh gleams the slenderest line
Of soul; that is love; the unevanescent,
Making the mortal immortal, divine.

IV

Yes; I know what I am. Have outlasted my season
Of pleasure and folly.--You think it is strange
That I let you, say--love me? But why not?--my reason
Requires illusions. They give me that change
Which quiets remembrance. You kiss me--I wonder.--
When you say, "You are beautiful,"--well, am I glad
If I laugh?--You declaim on my form, "How no blunder
Of nature discords,"--If I sigh, am I sad?

V

How you stare at my eyes!--Well! my lips!--must they languish
For kisses to redden?--"My eyes are as bright
As the jewel I drown in my hair, with its anguish
Of tortuous fire that quivers to-night"?
Tears may be.--This showy?--That silly white flower
Were better?--For me its simplicity? no!--
The gem I prefer to the lily.--The hour
Has struck: I am ready: my fan: let us go.