Epigram 74. The Boyes Opinions

Afew untoward Boyes hapning together,
Started a Question t'be resolved whether;
And from the youngest put it to the oldest,
What part about a Woman was the coldest.
The first a knee did say (in his Opinion)
Was the cold'st place of any female Minion.
The next recovering from some thought he stuck at,
Said he conceiv'd it needs must be her buttock,
By feeling cold (but he was but a Noddy)
When she takes up her clothes to ease her body.
The third then spake (with very earnest urging)
The breasts he did imagine of a virgin.
Maid, or no maid, the fourth cri'd, 'tis no matter,
The cold'st place sure lies between wind & water.
After the Question thus being vext and hammer'd,
Oh! sigh'd a Lover (lately grown enamour'd)
(Who ever speaks the truth may be the boldest)
Of a coy Ladies parts her heart's the coldest.
I (quoth the sixth) from all of you do vary,
And am of an Opinion quite contrary:
For with a Woman I lay late, and found her (her)
Warm every where to th' purpose (Pox confound
They all laugh'd, saying, he might thank his riot,
And they gues'd him a Clap by his strict diet.
My Hostess heard them, (grunting on her Palet)
And swore, an old Woman as any Sallet
Was cold & wholesome: And (to clear this riddle)
She to him call'd; Son! you may come and fiddle:
But he seem'd bashful, and refus'd the Grannum;
Swearing, what Lust is in these beasts to dam u'm?