Once on a time to mighty Jove

Once on a time to mighty Jove
Complaints came from afar,
From men of unsuccessful love,
Miscarriages in war:
In law the want of equity,
Of mirth at city feasts,
Of pathos in their poetry,
And of good works in priests.

So loud and clam'rous were these clods,
That Jove, ne'er left at rest,
Conven'd a synod of the gods,
And Bacchus 'mongst the rest:
He, merry wag, knew what on earth
Thus caus'd them to repine,
And instant sent them genuine mirth,
Cask'd up in tons of wine.

The lover drank and eas'd his care,
Heroes grew high in fame,
A comely paunch mark'd each Lord Mayor,
And lawyers just became.
Bards sung divine, priests put up prayers,
For such a blessing given,
And Bacchus to this day declares
There's no such drink in heaven.