Epilogue to "The Kind Keeper; or, Mr. Limberham"

I BEG a boon, that, ere you all disband,
Some one would take my bargain off my hand;
To keep a punk is but a common evil;
To find her false, and marry? that 's the devil:
Well, I ne'er acted part in all my life,
But still I was fobb'd off with some such wife:
I find the trick; these poets take no pity
Of one that is a member of the city.
We cheat you lawfully, and in our trades;
You cheat us basely with your common jades.
Now I am married, I must sit down by it,
But let me keep my dear-bought spouse in quiet;
Let none of you damn'd Woodalls of the pit
Put in for shares to mend our breed, in wit:
We know your bastards from our flesh and blood,
Not one in ten of yours e'er comes to good.
In all the boys their fathers' virtues shine,
But all the female fry turn pugs, like mine.
When these grow up. Lord, with what rampant gadders
Our counters will be throng'd, and roads with padders!