The Equivocation: a Tale

An Abbot rich (whose taste was good
Alike in science and in food)
His Bishop had resolved to treat;
The Bishop came, the Bishop ate;
'Twas silence, till their stomachs fail'd;
And now at Heretics they rail'd;
What Heresy (the Prelate said)
Is in that Church where Priests may wed!
Do not we take the Church for life?
But those divorce her for a wife,
Like laymen keep her in their houses,
And own the children of their spouses.
Vile practices! the Abbot cried,
For pious use we're set aside!
Shall we take wives? marriage at best
Is but carnality profest.
Now as the Bishop took his glass,
He spied our Abbot's buxom lass
Who cross'd the room; he mark'd her eye
That glow'd with love; his pulse beat high.
Fie, father, fie, (the Prelate cries)
A maid so young! for shame, be wise.
These indiscretions lend a handle
To lewd lay tongues, to give us scandal;
For your vows' sake, this rule I give t' ye,
Let all your maids be turn'd of fifty.
The priest replied, I have not swerved,
But your chaste precept well observed;
That lass full twenty-five has told,
I've yet another who's as old;

Into one sum their ages cast;
So both my maids are fifty past.

The Prelate smiled, but durst not blame;
For why? his Lordship did the same.

Let those who reprimand their brothers,
First mend the faults they find in others.