The Wrong Floor

A certain Emperor
(This is a censored tale)
Once pounded on the door
Of heaven with fist of mail.

Cried Peter from within,
Awakened by the row,
“Stop that infernal din!
Who are you, anyhow?”

“Don’t bandy words with me!”
Thundered the visitor.
“All doors to me are free.
I am the Emperor.”

“If you’re an Emperor,”
Said Peter, “then I fear
You’ve come to the wrong floor.
We take no Emperors here.

“Our waiting list is filled
With martyrs brave and true
Whose blood an Emperor spilled.
There is no room for you.”

Cowed by Saint Peter’s look,
The Emperor, with a frown,
Cried, “Well, I’m damned!” and took
The elevator—down.