Parting

Parting I felt most Mortal pangs, and smart,
I felt your scorn, and I resolv'd to part.
Think! think, Amasia, with what pains I strove
My long fixt Eyes from thy dear Face to move.
Not Men condemn'd with deadlier anguish go,
To meet their fate, than I to part from you.
Yes, I remember, too, too well I may,
When my despair deny'd my longer stay,
And urg'd me from my self, and thee more dear, away.
With forward steps to seek my fair I ran,
Resolv'd to part, resolv'd to part a Man.
Resolv'd no more to be a Slave, and pine,
But be my self, and be no longer thine.
Onward in hast to thy abode I flew,
To see, to leave, and not to Love thee too,
But with dry Eyes to bid a long Adieu.
To thy Apartment boldly now I came,
And hop'd, and fancy'd that I felt no flame.
Not as a Lover I approach'd thee near,
Ask'd what Commands you had for me to bear.
Scornful you Smil'd, and answer'd you had none,
Then, sixt I stood, a perfect Lover grown.
With silent Admiration there I gaz'd,
The more I look'd, I grew the more amaz'd.
My awful, trembling, wishing Eyes I drew,
I took them off, but to look on anew.
On thy dear Face fond glances still they cast,
They look'd, to see when they should look their last.
With wakeful Eyes so have I often lain,
Expecting Sleep to case my Mortal pain,
But Expectation made the blessing vain.
Thus, he who sees thee, and expects to go,
Stands still expecting, and may still do so.
With wat'ry Eyes I strove in vain to see,
Take the last sight, since that the last must be.
That I no more must thy dear Beauties view,
Made streaming Tears flow from my Eyes anew,
Denying then the Pow'r of seeing too.
Strait, stagg'ring on, as to Salute, I bow'd,
And stumbled near you, and you laugh'd aloud.
With slow approaches, to your Lips I came,
While your Eyes sparkled with disdainful flame.
A glance so fierce rob'd me of all my Sense,
It did no Sun-shine on your Lips dispense,
But blasted the dear Fruits I should have gather'd thence.
Leaving no Kiss lodg'd on thy Lovely Face,
I totter'd feebly from the wish'd Embrace.
My Heart beat thick, and now alarm'd me whole,
Alarm'd my Senses, and alarm'd my Soul.
It's motions rose, to call me thence away,
But ah! that very motion urg'd my stay.
By slow degrees from thy lov'd sight I drew,
I sigh'd, and stood, to take another veiw,
Turn'd often back —
And gaz'd, and gaz'd, but could not bid adieu.