Satire XVI (Gifford)

Who can recount the advantages that wait,
Dear Gallus, on the Military State?--
For let me once, beneath a lucky star,
Faint as I am of heart, and new to war,
But join the camp, and that ascendant hour
Shall lord it o'er my fate with happier power,
Than if a line from Venus should commend
My suit to Mars, or Juno stand my friend!
And first, of benefits which all may share:
'Tis somewhat--that no citizen shall dare
To strike you, or, though struck, return the blow:
But waive the wrong; nor to the Prætor show
His teeth dashed out, his face deformed with gore,
And eyes no skill can promise to restore!
A Judge, if to the camp your plaints you bear,
Coarse shod, and coarser greaved, awaits you there:
By antique law proceeds the cassocked sage,
And rules prescribed in old Camillus' age;
To wit, Let soldiers seek no foreign bench,
Nor plead to any charge without the trench.
O nicely do Centurions sift the cause,
When buff-and-belt-men violate the laws!
And ample, if with reason we complain,
Is, doubtless, the redress our injuries gain!
Even so:--but the whole legion are our foes,
And, with determined aim, the award oppose.
"These sniveling rogues take special pleasure still
To make the punishment outweigh the ill."
So runs the cry; and he must be possest
Of more, Vagellius, than thy iron breast,
Who braves their anger, and, with ten poor toes,
Defies such countless hosts of hobnailed shoes.
Who so untutored in the ways of Rome,
Say, who so true a Pylades, to come
Within the camp?--no; let thy tears be dried,
Nor ask that kindness, which must be denied,
For, when the Court exclaims, "Your witness, here!"
Let that firm friend, that man of men, appear,
And testify but what he saw and heard;
And I pronounce him worthy of the beard
And hair of our forefathers! You may find
False witnesses against an honest hind,
Easier than true (and who their fears can blame?),
Against a soldier's purse, a soldier's fame!
But there are other benefits, my friend,
And greater, which the sons of war attend:
Should a litigious neighbor bid me yield
My vale irriguous, and paternal field;
Or from my bounds the sacred landmark tear,
To which, with each revolving spring, I bear,
In pious duty to the grateful soil,
My humble offerings, honey, meal, and oil;
Or a vile debtor my just claims withstand,
Deny his signet, and abjure his hand;
Term after Term I wait, till months be past,
And scarce obtain a hearing at the last.
Even when the hour is fixed, a thousand stays
Retard my suit, a thousand vague delays:
The cause is called, the witnesses attend,
Chairs brought, and cushions laid--and there an end:
Cæditius finds his cloak or gown too hot,
And Fuscus slips aside to seek the pot;
Thus, with our dearest hopes the judges sport,
And when we rise to speak, dismiss the Court!
But spear-and-shield-men may command the hour;
The time to plead is always in their power;
Nor are their wealth and patience worn away,
By the slow drag-chain of the law's delay.
Add that the soldier, while his father lives,
And he alone, his wealth bequeaths or gives;
For what by pay is earned, by plunder won,
The law declares, vests solely in the son.
Coranus therefore sees his hoary sire,
To gain his Will, by every art, aspire!--
He rose by service; rank in fields obtained,
And well deserved the fortune which he gained.
And every prudent chief must, sure, desire,
That still the worthiest should the most acquire;
That those who merit, their rewards should have,
Trappings, and chains, and all that decks the brave.