Theleme

I sat one night on a palace step,
Wrapped up in a mantle thin;
And I gazed with a smile on the world without,
With a growl at my world within,
Till I heard the merry voices ring
Of a lordly companie,
And straight to myself I began to sing
"It is there that I ought to be."
And long I gazed through a lattice raised
Which smiled from the old gray wall,
And my glance went in, with the evening breeze,
And ran o'er the revellers all;
And I said, "If they saw me, 't would cool their mirth,
Far more than this wild breeze free,
But a merrier party was ne'er on earth,
And among them I fain would be."
And oh! but they all were beautiful,
Fairer than fairy-dreams,
And their words were sweet as the wind harp's tone
When it rings o'er summer streams;
And they pledged each other with noble mien,
"True heart with my life to thee!"
"Alack!" quoth I, "but my soul is dry,
And among them I fain would be!"
And the gentlemen were noble souls,
Good fellows both sain and sound,
I had not deemed that a band like this
Could over the world be found;
And they spoke of brave and beautiful things,
Of all that was dear to me;
And I thought, "Perhaps they would like me well,
If among them I once might be!"
And lovely were the ladies too,
Who sat in the light-bright hall,
And one there was, oh, dream of life!
The loveliest 'mid them all;
She sat alone by an empty chair,
The queen of the feast was she,
And I said to myself, "By that lady fair
I certainly ought to be."
And aloud she spoke, "We have waited long
For one who in fear and doubt
Looks wistfully into our hall of song
As he sits on the steps without;
I have sung to him long in silent dreams,
I have led him o'er land and sea,
Go welcome him in as his rank beseems,
And give him a place by me!"
They opened the door, yet I shrunk with shame?
As I sat in my mantle thin,
But they haled me out with a joyous shout,
And merrily led me in —
And gave me a place by my bright-haired love,
As she wept with joy and glee,
And I said to myself, "By the stars above.
I am just where I ought to be!"
Farewell to thee, life of joy and grief!
Farewell to ye, care, and pain!
Farewell, thou vulgar and selfish world!
For I never will know thee again.
I live in a land where good fellows abound,
In Thelem6, by the sea;
They may long for a "happier life" that will, —
I am just where I ought to be!