Book XI, Epigram 98 (Ker)

'Tis impossible, Flaccus, to get free from kissers; they press on you, stay you, follow j-ou up, meet you, and from this side and from that, no matter when, wherever. No malignant ulcer or inflamed pustules, nor diseased chin and dirty scabs, nor lips smeared with oily salve, nor icicle on a frozen nose, will protect you. They kiss you both when you are hot and when you are cold, and when you are keeping a kiss for your bride. A head shrouded in a cowl will not free you, nor a litter defended with head and curtain; nor will a sedan, though oftener closed, protect you: through any chink the kisser will enter. Not even the very consul's office, not the tribunate, nor the six fasces, nor the lordly rod of the clamorous lictoi', will drive off the kisser: you may be sitting on a high tribunal, and from curule chair be declaring the laws to the nations, the kisser will climb up to that place and to that. When you are fevered he will kiss you, and when you are in tears; he will give a kiss to you when you are yawning, and when you are swimming; he will give it when you are in the jakes Remedy for the evil is this alone: make a friend of a man you don't want to kiss.