The Smack in School

In Berkshire hills, not far away,
A district school, one Winter day,
Was humming with the wonted noise
Of three score mingled girls and boys;
Some few upon their tasks intent,
But more on furtive mischief bent,
The while the master's downward look
Was fastened on a copy-book;
When, suddenly, behind his back,
Rose sharp and clear, a rousing smack,
As 'twere a battery of bliss
Let off in one tremendous kiss!
"What's that?" the startled master cries;
"That, thir," a little imp replies,
"Wath William Willith, if you pleathe--
I thaw him kith Thuthannah Peathe!"
With frown to make a statue thrill,
The magnate beckoned: "Hither, Will!"
Like wretch o'ertaken in his track,
With stolen chattels on his back,
Will hung his head in fear and shame,
And to the awful presence came--
A great, green, bashful simpleton,
The butt of all good-natured fun.
With smile suppressed, and birch upraised,
The threatener faltered: "I'm amazed
That you, my biggest pupil, should
Be guilty of an act so rude--
Before the whole set school to boot--
What evil genius put you to't?"

"'Twas she herself, sir," sobbed the lad;
"I didn't mean to be so bad;
But when Susannah shook her curls,
And whispered I was 'fraid of girls,
And durstn't kiss a baby's doll,
I couldn't stand it, sir, at all,
But up and kissed her on the spot!
I know--boo hoo--I ought to not;
But, somehow, from her looks--boo hoo--
I thought she kind o' wished me to!"