The Progress of Advice. A Common Case

SAYS Richard to Thomas (and seem'd half afraid)
" I am thinking to marry thy mistress's maid;
" Now, because Mrs. Lucy to thee is well known,
" I will do't if thou bidd'st me, or let it alone.

" Nay, don't male a jest on't; 'tis no jest to me;
" For 'faith I'm in earnest; so, prithee, be free.
" I have no fault to find with the girl since I knew her,
" But I'd have thy advice ere I tie myself to her."

Said Thomas to Richard, "To speak my opinion,
" There is not such a bitch in King George's dominion;
" And I firmly believe, if thou knew'st her as I do,
" Thou wouldst chuse out a whipping-post first to be ty'd to.

" She's peevish, she's thievish, she's ugly, she's old,
" And a liar, and a fool, and a slut, and a scold."
Next day Richard hasten'd to church and was wed,
And ere night had inform'd her what Thomas had said.