Good-Bye and How-d'ye-do

One day, Good-bye met How-d'ye-do,
Too close to shun saluting,
But soon the rival sisters flew,
From kissing, to disputing.

"Away," says How-d'ye-do, "your mien
Appals my cheerful nature.
No name so sad as yours is seen
In sorrow's nomenclature.

"Whene'er I give one sunshine hour.
Your cloud comes o'er to shade it;
Where'er I plant one bosom flower,
Your mildew drops to fade it.

"Ere How-d'ye-do has turned each tongue
To Hope's delightful measure.
Good-bye in Friendship's ear has rung
The knell of parting pleasure!

"From sorrows past, my chemic skill
Draws smiles of consolation.
While you from present joys distil
The tears of separation."

Good-bye replied, "Your statement's true,
And well your cause you've pleaded:
But pray, who'd think of How-d'ye-do.
Unless Good-bye preceded?

"Without my prior influence
Could yours have ever flourish'd?
And can your hand one flower dispense
But those my tears have nourish'd?

"How oft, if at the Court of Love
Concealment be the fashion,
When How-d'ye-do has failed to move.
Good-bye reveals the passion!

"How oft, when Cupid's fires decline,
As every heart remembers.
One sigh of mine, and only mine,
Revives the dying embers!

"Go, bid the timid lover choose,
And I'll resign my charter;
If he, for ten kind How-d'ye-do's,
One kind Good-bye would barter!

"From Love and Friendship's kindred source
We both derive existence,
And they would both lose half their force,
Without our joint assistance.

"'Tis well the world our merit knows,
Since time, there's no denying.
One-half in How-d'ye-doing goes.
And t'other in Good-byeing!"