Conclusion of the Humbug

THE Sages of old, and the Learn'd of this day,
Fa, la, la.
About Life and Living have said and will say
Fa, la, la.
About and about it, about and about,
They ev'ry thing say, but can make nothing out.
Fa, la, la.

Rail on if you please, when the Knowing-ones win,
Yet half the world strives to take t'other half in;
But all schemes concluded, and Loss and Gain summ'd,
Both Biters and Bubbles are equally humm'd.

Let those who will hunt after Fame, and such dreams,
Break their rest, necks, or hearts, in the chace of those schemes;
Shou'd they what they wish to be ever become,
They will find all they long'd for, alas! but a Hum.

By Terror of Parents, or tempted by Gain,
The Lady resigns to some Jessamy Swain;
When Husbands such delicate creatures become,—
When Husbands! no, no! for 'tis there lies the hum.

When Beauty, all brilliant, shines Queen of the Ring
Such Grace and such Taste, and such — oh! she' the Things!
How happy her Husband!—he may be,—but mum,
For sometimes such happiness is but a Hum.

What a Rout 'mong the Rich at an only Son's Birth
And what a Parade when Papa's put in Earth;
Go cast up, who pleases, Felicity's sum,
From Birth unto Burial the Total's a Hum.

The Profit of Life is out-ballanc'd by Cost,
Fa, la, la.
Joy ever must be in Satiety lost;
Fa, la, la.
It is,—it has slipp'd me, what 'tis I'd be at,
So a Bumper I'll drink, there's no Humbug in that.
Fa, la, la.