The Squabble

ON Ida one day, at Olympical feast,
The Lass loving Jove was the Host, Sir,
Who gayly proposing a Health to the Best,
On Venus he fix'd for his Toast, Sir;
Each Deity smil'd as the Glass went about,
But, pettishly, Pallas her Bumper threw out,
She spoke not, but seem'd by her manner to doubt
The justice of toasting Miss Venus.

Then Juno broke silence, and swore by her power,
Her face looking pale like a Spectre,
"The Liquor was turning excessively sour,
"The Toast gaver a Fust to the Nectar."
Minerva maliciously seconds the Queen,
"I wonder, Papa, what it is you can mean,
"Sure other Celestials are sweet and as clean,"
Tho' not quite so common as Venus.

Dear M'em, replies Demirep Dio, and bow'd,
Your breeding just parrs your good-nature,
But ask the Gods round, and, Nem. Con. 'tis allow'd,
To all I'm superior in Feature.
To be sure you're a Prude, and Enjoyment to spite,
That ugly Shield bear, as if Lovers you'll fright,
Enough, they are scar'd when they've once had a sight
Of the old-mainden face of Minerva.

Her Sov'reign and Spouse haughty Juno may teize,
And bed-chamber women be rating,
And you, Miss Militia, as long as you please,
May listen to Sophisters prating;
But I, who am Empress of Love and its Laws,
Who have from Immortals and Mortals applause,
Whose Beauties—but Beauty (quoth Vulcan) has flaws;
When Mars knit his brow and look'd frowning.

Jove rose in a rage, as he rose tho', he reel'd,
And Hiccups gave out by the hundred;
Like Artists on Ice, to the right and left wheel'd,
By Styx then he swore and he thunder'd:
"Two to one, Madam Ox-Eye, is very foul play;
"Miss Brain-born I beg you'll dispatch and away,
"Or what Paris told me of both, I shall say."
The Goddesses went away grumbling.

Come, come! (says young Bacchus) pray, father, have done,
They are off; in the Milky-Way, walking,
We'll drink and be merry, the Gossips are gone—
Of a Song brother Phoebus was talking.
Apollo began, with the help of the Nine,
The Ladies returning, good-natur'dly join,
Such power has Music when mingled with Wine,
All friendly were fuddled together.