The Humbug

THAT Living's a Joke, Johnny Gay has express'd,
Fal de roll, toll loll.
In earnest we'll make all we can of the Jest;
Loll de roll, &c.
A load of conceits, a long life we are lugging,
Which some are Humbugg'd by, and some are Humbugging.
Fal de roll, &c.

His Honour with consequence charges his face,
Bows round to the Levee, and ogles His Grace;
Then whispers his friend, Sir, depend on my Word,—
But if you depend, you're Humbugg'd by the Lord.

Says Patty the prude, and she wide spread her fan,—
Me marry! What? I go to bed to a Man?
I detest all Male Creatures! my God!—I shall swoon!
She did—and was brought to-bed, faith, before noon!

To London Pa sent her, when bloom was regain'd,
Invi'late her Maidenhead there she maintain'd;
For a Virgin was wed, she knew how to be mum,
So gain'd a good Husband, her Husband a Hum.

Miss nicely observ'd, wastly wulgar's this word,
Immensely indelicate, monsterous absurd:
Yet last night, dear Miss, when you thought yourself snug,
You confess'd—without loving—life's all a Humbug.

The wanton Wife often, too often I fear,
Proves Words to be Facts when she calls her Spouse Deer;
And enjoys the sweet cheat as stol'n pleasures she hugs,
How cunningly now she her Cuckold humbugs.

But Husband at home, as few marry'd men wish,
Fal de roll, toll loll.
To dine ev'ry day on the very same dish,
Loll de roll, &c.
Makes a meal with her Maid, the thing publicly known is,
A Tete-a-Tete feast, call'd the Lex Talionis.
Fal de roll, &c.