Nunc Est Bibendum

NOW we're free from College Rules,
From Common-place-book reason,
From trifling syllogistic Schools,
And Systems out of Season;
Never more we'll have defin'd,
If Matter thinks or thinks not;
All the matter we shall mind,
Is — he who drinks — or drinks not.

Metaphysic'ly to trace,
The Mind, or Soul abstracted;
Or prove Infinity of Space,
By cause on cause effected;
Better Souls we can't become
By immaterial thinking;
And as to Space, we want no room,
But room enough to drink in.

Plenum, vacuum, minus, plus,
Are learned words, and rare too, —
Those terms our Tutors may discuss,
And those who please may hear too. —
A Plenum in our Wine we show,
With Plus, and Plus behind, sir,
And when our Cash is minus, low,
A Vacuum soon we find, sir.

Copernicus, that learned sage,
Dane Tycho's error proving,
Declares in — I can't tell what page —
The Earth round Sol is moving.
But which goes round, what's that to us?
Each is, perhaps, a notion;
With Earth, and Sun, we make no fuss,
But mind the Bottle's motion.

Great Galileo ill was us'd,
By Superstition's fury;
Antipodeans were abus'd
By ignoramus jury:
But, feet to feet, we dare attest,
Nor fear a treatment scurvy;
For when we're drunk, probatum est,
We're tumbling, topsy turvy.

Newton talk'd of Lights and Shades,
And different Colours knew, sir:
Don't let us disturb our heads, —
We will but study two, sir.—
White and Red our glasses boast,
Reflection, and Refraction;
After him we name our Toast, —
"The Center of Attraction."

On that Thesis we'll declaim,
With stratum, super stratum;
There's mighty magic in the name,
'Tis Nature's Postulatum.
Wine, in nature's next to love;
Then wisely let us blend 'em;
First tho', physically prove,
That Nunc, nunc est bibendum.