Beef Steak Club

DRAW the Cork, the Cloth's drawn, —a Toast to the KING,
I presume it is meet, after meat we shou'd sing,
For thus prescribes Galen;—"Life's Health to prolong,
"Take Dinner's digestive, a Glass, and a Song."
To him the Diplomists their judgements resign,
So fiat mixturam, 'tis Music and Wine.

Old Homer, who, Shakespeare-like, all Nature knew,
Does honour to Beef, and to Beef-eaters too;
He sings, that the Greeks, by whom Troy Town was sell'd,
In fighting and eating, all Nations excell'd;
And he, for the Day, who was Hero in Chief,
Had a Double Proportion, or Premium of Beef.

It was Cacus (some say) tho' that's not Orthodox,
'Twas Milo of Crotos first knock'd down an Ox;
He invited all friends to his Beef-eating Wake,
But first, on Turf Altar, he offer'd a Stake.
The Aetherials regal'd on the odour that 'rose,
Says Epicure Jove, such a Club we'll compose.

Then call'd out for Vulcan, the God, limping, came,
And, ogling behind him, attended his Dame;
Each Deity seem'd more inclin'd to her Mess,
Than to dine on the best dish Olympus cou'd dress.
Jove silence proclaims, his curls awfully shakes,
And on Ida establish'd a Club of BEEF STAKES.

When Juno, that instant, a female peal rung,
In Jove's hand the Bowl shook, the Toast dy'd on his tongue;
But commanding a Cloud, like a Curtain to fold,
He embrac'd her within it, and silenc'd the Scold.
In practice, ye Husbands, put Jupiter's plan,
And keep your Wives quiet—as well as you can.