Polycrates on Waterloo Bridge

Let no mortals dare to be
Happier in their lives than we :
Thus the jealous gods decree.

This decree was never heard,
Never by their lips averred,
Yet on high stands registered.

I have read it, and I fear
All the gods above, my Dear,
All must envy us two here.

Let us, then, propitiate
These proud satraps of sole Fate ;
Our hearts' wealth is all too great.

Say, what rich and cherished thing
Can I to the river fling
As a solemn offering ?

O beloved Meerschaum Pipe,
Whose pink bloom would soon be ripe.
Must thou be the chosen type ?

Cloud-compeller ! Foam o' the Sea,
Whence rose Venus fair and free
On some poet's reverie !

In the sumptuous silken-lined
Case where thou hast lain enshrined

And, to drag thee surely down,
Lo ! I tie my last half-crown :
We shall have to walk through town.

Penny toll is paid, and thus
All the bridge is free to us ;
But no cab, nor even a 'bus !

Far I fling thee through the gloom ;
Sink into thy watery tomb,
O thou consecrate to Doom !

May no sharp police, while they track
Spoils thrown after some great "crack,"
Ever, ever bring thee back !

No mudlarkers, who explore
Every ebb the filthy floor,
Bring thee to the day once more !

No sleek cook — I spare the wish ;
Dead dogs, cats, and suchlike fish,

Gods ! the dearest, as I wis.
Of my treasures offered is ;
Pardon us our heavenly bliss !

What Voice murmurs full of spleen ?
Not that Pipe hut Ssss ! how mean
All the gods have ever been !