The Kid and the Tanner

A WHITE kid on a village green,
Imagining itself unseen.
Sported in such a graceful manner
It caught th' attention of a Tanner.

The Tanner watched, and mused, and said:
To see you prancing on your head
Some foolish folk, oh milk-white kid,
Would very gladly pay a quid.

To me it seems a sort of shame
That one so young should — for a game —
Without a thought of what is meet.
Render himself too tough to eat."

The kid replied: "But, Mr. Tanner,
It's lovely playing in this manner;
Why should I then, my young life spoiling.
Cease — to become more fit for boiling?"

The Tanner frowned: though fairly mild.
Such heedless language made him wild —
Or, as he would himself allege.
Set all his moral self on edge."

"Each kid," he cried, "by Nature's laws,
And Man's, subserves some Higher Cause—
Not merely its own goatish pleasure —
And ought to learn to be a treasure.

"Now you'll be useless for the pot.
And far too gambolsome — God wot —
To draw along at nursemaid's pace
A goat-cart in a watering-place."

The kid believing that this view
From one so serious must be true,
First wept, then said if it knew how
'Twould be a better goat from now.

The Tanner mused — he wished to aid
A helpless creature that had strayed;
He mused for quite a lengthy spell —
He wished to aid himself as well.

"Really I hardly know what you,"
He said at last, "are fit to do.
Stay — in my tannery at least
Your skin could be preserved, poor beast,

"Nay, more, if you will be advised
You can become immortalized,
And though from you 'twill have to sever
Your skin may gambol on for ever."

"Dear Mr. Tanner," straight replied
The wondering kid, much gratified,
"I find it very hard, believe me,
To think my ears do not deceive me.

"For how, dear Mr. Tanner, how
Can that same skin I'm wearing now —
Shorn from my frame so lithe and taper —
Continue, as you say, to caper?"

The Tanner smiled — all business men
Enjoy a whimsy now and then.
And chiefly when th' indulging of it
May cause a gain — not loss — of profit.

The Tanner smiled and cleared his throat.
And said on quite a merry note:
"Know, kid, a nymph as gay as you
Requires a shoe, or rather two.

"Your skin, once tanned and heeled and soled,
And lacquered to the tint of gold.
Will just suffice to make those slippers —
Size Number 4, to fit her flippers.

"Thus, then, when you are dead and gone.
Still will a kid go capering on.
Or rather, 'neath her skirts with glide
Two twinkling kidlets side by side."

The kid, persuaded in this manner,
Gladly accompanied the Tanner,
And entering his odorous portal
With great despatch became immortal.

Moral
'Tis better, Kids, to frisk and frivol
Than to take counsel of the Devil —
Even though he has the business manner
And staid appearance of a Tanner.