Lines 1586–1765

PEISTHETAERUS.
O welcome, Heracles!
What brings you hither?

POSEIDON.
We are envoys, sent
Down by the Gods to settle terms of peace.

SERVANT.
There’s no more oil remaining in the flask.

HERACLES.
O dear! and bird’s-flesh should be rich and glistering.

POSEIDON.
We Gods gain nothing by the war; and you,
Think what ye’ll get by being friends with us;
Rain-water in the pools, and halcyon days
Shall be your perquisites the whole year through.
We’ve ample powers to settle on these terms.

PEISTHETAERUS.
It was not we who ever wished for war,
And now, if even now ye come prepared
With fair proposals, ye will find us ready
To treat for peace. What I call fair is this;
Let Zeus restore the sceptre to the birds,
And all make friends. If ye accept this offer,
I ask the envoys in to share our banquet.

HERACLES.
I’m altogether satisfied, and vote—

POSEIDON.
[interrupting]
What, wretch? A fool and glutton, that’s what YOU are!
What! would you rob your father of his kingdom?

PEISTHETAERUS.
Aye, say you so? Why, ye’ll be mightier far,
Ye Gods above, if Birds bear rule below.
Now men go skulking underneath the clouds,
And swear false oaths, and call the Gods to witness.
But when ye’ve got the Birds for your allies,
If a man swear by the Raven and by Zeus,
The Raven will come by, and unawares
Fly up, and swoop, and peck the perjurer’s eye out.

POSEIDON.
Now by Poseidon there’s some sense in that.

HERACLES.
And so say I.

PEISTHETAERUS.
(to Trib.) And you?

TRIBALLIAN.
Persuasitree.

PEISTHETAERUS.
You see? he quite assents. And now I’ll give you
Another instance of the good ye’ll gain.
If a man vow a victim to a God,
And then would shuffle off with cunning words,
Saying, in greedy lust, The Gods wait long,
This too we’ll make him pay you.

POSEIDON.
Tell me how?

PEISTHETAERUS.
Why, when that man is counting out his money,
Or sitting in his bath, a kite shall pounce
Down unawares, and carry off the price
Of two fat lambs, and bear it to the God.

HERACLES.
I say again, I vote we give the sceptre
Back to the Birds.

POSEIDON.
Ask the Triballian next.

HERACLES.
You there, do you want a drubbing?

TRIBALLIAN.
Hideythine
I’se stickybeatums.

HERACLES.
There! he’s all for me.

POSEIDON.
Well then, if so you wish it, so we’ll have it.

HERACLES.
(to Pei.) Hi! we accept your terms about the sceptre.

PEISTHETAERUS.
By Zeus, there’s one thing more I’ve just remembered.
Zeus may retain his Hera, if he will,
But the young girl, Miss Sovereignty, he must
Give me to wife.

POSEIDON.
This looks not like a treaty.
Let us be journeying homewards.

PEISTHETAERUS.
As you will.
Now, cook, be sure you make the gravy rich.

HERACLES.
Why, man alive, Poseidon, where are you off to?
What, are we going to fight about one woman?

POSEIDON.
What shall we do?

HERACLES.
Do? Come to terms at once.

POSEIDON.
You oaf, he’s gulling you, and you can’t see it.
Well, it’s yourself you are ruining. If Zeus
Restore the kingdom to the Birds, and die,
You’ll be a pauper. You are the one to get
Whatever money Zeus may leave behind him.

PEISTHETAERUS.
O! O! the way he’s trying to cozen you!
Hist, step aside, I want to whisper something.
Your uncle’s fooling you, poor dupe. By law
No shred of all your father’s money falls
To you. Why, you’re a bastard, you’re not heir.

HERACLES.
Eh! What? A bastard? I?

PEISTHETAERUS.
Of course you are.
Your mother was an alien, Bless the fool,
How did you think Athene could be “Heiress,”
(Being a girl), if she had lawful brethren?

HERACLES.
Well, but suppose my father leaves me all
As bastard’s heritage?

PEISTHETAERUS.
The law won’t let him.
Poseidon here, who now excites you on,
Will be the first to claim the money then,
As lawful brother, and your father’s heir.
Why here, I’ll read you Solon’s law about it.
“A bastard is to have no right of inheritance, if there
be lawful children. And if there be no lawful children,
the goods are to fall to the next of kin.”

HERACLES.
What! none of all my father’s goods to fall
To me?

PEISTHETAERUS.
No, not one farthing! tell me this,
Has he enrolled you ever in the guild?

HERACLES.
He never has. I’ve often wondered why.

PEISTHETAERUS.
Come, don’t look up assault-and-battery-wise.
Join us, my boy; I’ll make you autocrat,
And feed you all your days on pigeon’s milk.

HERACLES.
I’m quite convinced you’re right about the girl;
I said Restore her; and I say so now.

PEISTHETAERUS.
(to Pos.) And what say you?

POSEIDON.
I vote the other way.

PEISTHETAERUS.
All rests with this Triballian. What say you?

TRIBALLIAN.
Me gulna charmi grati Sovranau
Birdito stori.

HERACLES.
There! he said Restore her.

POSEIDON.
O no by Zeus, he never said Restore her;
He said to migrate as the swallows do.

HERACLES.
O then he said Restore her to the swallows.

POSEIDON.
You two conclude, and settle terms of peace,
Since you both vote it, I will say no more.

HERACLES.
(to Pei.) We’re quite prepared to give you all you ask.
So come along, come up to heaven yourself,
And take Miss Sovereignty and all that’s there.

PEISTHETAERUS.
So then these birds were slaughtered just in time
To grace our wedding banquet.

HERACLES.
Would you like me
To stay, and roast the meat, while you three go?

POSEIDON.
To roast the meat! To TASTE the meat, you mean.
Come along, do.

HERACLES.
I’d have enjoyed it though.

PEISTHETAERUS.
Ho there within! bring out a wedding robe.

CHORUS.
In the fields of Litigation,
Near the Water-clock, a nation
With its tongue its belly fills;
With its tongue it sows and reaps,
Gathers grapes and figs in heaps,
With its tongue the soil it tills.
For a Barbarous tribe it passes,
Philips all and Gorgiases.
And from this tongue-bellying band
Everywhere on Attic land,
People who a victim slay
Always cut the tongue away.

MESSENGER.
O all-successful, more than tongue can tell!
O ye, thrice blessed wingéd race of birds,
Welcome your King returning to his halls!
He comes; no Star has ever gleamed so fair,
Sparkling refulgent in its gold-rayed home.
The full far-flashing splendour of the Sun
Ne’er shone so gloriously as he, who comes
Bringing a bride too beautiful for words,
Wielding the wingéd thunderbolt of Zeus.
Up to Heaven’s highest vault, sweet sight, ascends
Fragrance ineffable; while gentlest airs
The fume of incense scatter far and wide.
He comes; he is here! Now let the heavenly Muse
Open her lips with pure auspicious strains.

CHORUS.
Back with you! out with you!
off with you! up with you!
Flying around
Welcome the Blesséd with blessedness crowned.
O! O! for the youth and the beauty, O!
Well hast thou wed for the town of the Birds.

Great are the blessings, and mighty, and wonderful,
Which through his favour our nation possesses.
Welcome them back, both himself and Miss Sovereignty,
Welcome with nuptial and bridal addresses.

Mid just such a song hymenaean
Aforetime the Destinies led
The King of the thrones empyréan,
The Ruler of Gods, to the bed
Of Hera his beautiful bride.
Hymen, O Hymenaeus!

And Love, with his pinions of gold,
Came driving, all blooming and spruce,
As groomsman and squire to behold
The wedding of Hera and Zeus,
Of Zeus and his beautiful bride.
Hymen, O Hymenaeus!
Hymen, O Hymenaeus!

PEISTHETAERUS.
I delight in your hymns, I delight in your songs;
Your words I admire.

CHORUS.
Now sing of the trophies he brings us from Heaven,
The earth-crashing thunders, deadly and dire,
And the lightning’s angry flashes of fire,
And the dread white bolt of the levin.
Blaze of the lightning, so terribly beautiful,
Golden and grand!
Fire-flashing javelin, glittering ever in
Zeus’s right hand!
Earth-crashing thunder, the hoarsely resounding, the
Bringer of showers!
He is your Master, ’tis he that is shaking the
Earth with your powers!
All that was Zeus’s of old
Now is our hero’s alone;
Sovereignty, fair to behold,
Partner of Zeus on his throne,
Now is for ever his own.
Hymen, O Hymenaeus!

PEISTHETAERUS.
Now follow on, dear feathered tribes,
To see us wed, to see us wed;
Mount up to Zeus’s golden floor,
And nuptial bed, and nuptial bed.
And O, my darling, reach thine hand,
And take my wing and dance with me,
And I will lightly bear thee up,
And carry thee, and carry thee

CHORUS.
Raise the joyous Paean-cry,
Raise the song of Victory.
Io Paean, alalalae,
Mightiest of the Powers, to thee!