Act I, Scene V

GAMMER.
How now, Tib? quick, let's hear what news thou hast
brought hither!

TIB.
Chave tost and tumbled yonder heap over and over again,
And winnowed it through my fingers, as men would winnow grain;
Not so much as a hen's turd, but in pieces I tare it;
Or whatsoever clod or clay I found, I did not spare it,
Looking within and eke without, to find your nee'le, alas!
But all in vain and without help! your nee'le is where it was.

GAMMER.
Alas, my nee'le! we shall never meet! adieu, adieu, for aye!

TIB.
Not so, Gammer, we might it find, if we knew where it lay.

COCK.
Gog's cross, Gammer, if ye will laugh, look in but at the door,
And see how Hodge lieth tumbling and tossing amids the flour,
Raking there some fire to find among the ashes dead,
Where there is not one spark so big as a pin's head:
At last in a dark corner two sparks he thought he sees,
Which were indeed nought else but Gib our cat's two eyes.
"Puff!" quod Hodge, thinking thereby to have fire without doubt;
With that Gib shut her two eyes, and so the fire was out;
And by and by them opened, even as they were before;
With that the sparks appeared, even as they had done of yore;
And even as Hodge blew the fire (as he did think),
Gib, as she felt the blast, straightway began to wink;
Till Hodge fell of swearing, as came best to his turn,
The fire was sure bewitch'd, and therefore would not burn;
At last Gib up the stairs, among the old posts and pins,
And Hodge he hied him after, till broke were both his shins:
Cursing and swearing oaths were never of his making,
That Gib would fire the house if that she were not taken.

GAMMER.
See, here is all the thought that the foolish urchin taketh!
And Tib, me-think, at his elbow almost as merry maketh.
This is all the wit ye have, when others make their moan.
Come down, Hodge, where art thou? and let the cat alone!

HODGE.
Gog's heart, help and come up! Gib in her tail hath fire,
And is like to burn all, if she get a little higher!
Come down, quoth you? nay, then you might count me a patch,
The house cometh down on your heads, if it take once the thatch.

GAMMER.
It is the cat's eyes, fool, that shineth in the dark.

HODGE.
Hath the cat, do you think, in every eye a spark?

GAMMER.
No, but they shine as like fire as ever man see.

HODGE.
By the mass, and she burn all, you sh' bear the blame for me!

GAMMER.
Come down and help to seek here our nee'le, that it were
found.
Down, Tib, on the knees, I say! Down, Cock, to the ground!
To God I make a vow, and so to good Saint Anne,
A candle shall they have a-piece, get it where I can,
If I may my nee'le find in one place or in other.

HODGE.
Now a vengeance on Gib light, on Gib and Gib's mother,
And all the generation of cats both far and near!
Look on the ground, whoreson, thinks thou the nee'le is here?

COCK.
By my troth, Gammer, me-thought your nee'le here I saw,
But when my fingers touch'd it, I felt it was a straw.

TIB.
See, Hodge, what's this? may it not be within it?

HODGE.
Break it, fool, with thy hand, and see and thou canst find it.

TIB.
Nay, break it you, Hodge, according to your word.

HODGE.
Gog's sides! fie! it stinks! it is a cat's turd!
It were well done to make thee eat it, by the mass!

GAMMER.
This matter amendeth not; my nee'le is still where it was.
Our candle is at an end, let us all in quite,
And come another time, when we have more light.