Act IV, Scene VII

Enter CHREMES on the other side of the stage, going toward the house of SIMO.

CHREM. (to himself.) After having provided the things necessary for my daughter’s nuptials, I’m returning, that I may request her to be sent for. (Seeing the child.) But what’s this? I’faith, it’s a child. (Addressing MYSIS.) Woman, have you laid that here (pointing to the child)?

MYS. (aside, looking out for DAVUS.) Where is he?

CHREM. Don’t you answer me?

MYS. (looking about, to herself.) He isn’t any where to be seen. Woe to wretched me! the fellow has left me and is off.

DAV. (coming forward and pretending not to see them.) Ye Gods, by our trust in you! what a crowd there is in the Forum! What a lot of people are squabbling there! (Aloud.) Then provisions are so dear. (Aside.) What to say besides, I don’t know. (CHREMES passes by MYSIS, and goes to a distance at the back of the stage.)

MYS. Pray, why did you leave me here alone?

DAV. (pretending to start on seeing the child.) Ha! what story is this? How now, Mysis, whence comes this child? Who has brought it here?

MYS. Are you quite right in your senses, to be asking me that?

DAV. Whom, then, ought I to ask, as I don’t see any one else here?

CHREM. (apart to himself.) I wonder whence it has come.

DAV. Are you going to tell me what I ask?

MYS. Pshaw!

DAV. (in a whisper.) Step aside to the right. (They retire on one side.)

MYS. You are out of your senses; didn’t you your own self?

DAV. (in a low voice.) Take you care not to utter a single word beyond what I ask you. Why don’t you say aloud whence it comes?

MYS. (in a loud voice.) From our house.

DAV. (affecting indignation.) Heyday, indeed! it really is a wonder if a woman, who is a courtesan, acts impudently.

CHREM. (apart.) So far as I can learn, this woman belongs to the Andrian.

DAV. Do we seem to you such very suitable persons for you to be playing tricks with us in this way?

CHREM. (apart.) I came just in time.

DAV. Make haste then, and take the child away from the door here: (in a low voice) stay there; take care you don’t stir from that spot.

MYS. (aside.) May the Gods confound you! you do so terrify poor me.

DAV. (in a loud voice.) Is it to you I speak or not?

MYS. What is it you want?

DAV. (aloud.) What-- do you ask me again? Tell me, whose child have you been laying here? Let me know.

MYS. Don’t you know?

DAV. (in a low voice.) Have done with what I know; tell me what I ask.

MYS. (aloud.) It belongs to your people.

DAV. (aloud.) Which of our people?

MYS. (aloud.) To Pamphilus.

DAV. (affecting surprise in a loud tone.) How? What-- to Pamphilus?

MYS. (aloud.) How now-- is it not so?

CHREM. (apart.) With good reason have I always been averse to this match, it’s clear.

DAV. (calling aloud.) O abominable piece of effrontery!

MYS. Why are you bawling out so?

DAV. (aloud.) What, the very one I saw being carried to your house yesterday evening?

MYS. O you impudent fellow!

DAV. (aloud.) It’s the truth. I saw Canthara stuffed out beneath her clothes.

MYS. I’faith, I thank the Gods that several free women were present at the delivery.

DAV. (aloud.) Assuredly she doesn’t know him, on whose account she resorts to these schemes. Chremes, she fancies, if he sees the child laid before the door, will not give his daughter; i’faith, he’ll give her all the sooner.

CHREM. (apart.) I’faith, he’ll not do so.

DAV. (aloud.) Now therefore, that you may be quite aware, if you don’t take up the child, I’ll roll it forthwith into the middle of the road; and yourself in the same place I’ll roll over into the mud.

MYS. Upon my word, man, you are not sober.

DAV. (aloud.) One scheme brings on another. I now hear it whispered about that she is a citizen of Attica--

CHREM. (apart.) Ha!

DAV. (aloud.) And that, constrained by the laws, he will have to take her as his wife.

MYS. Well now, pray, is she not a citizen?

CHREM. (apart.) I had almost fallen unawares into a comical misfortune. (Comes forward.)

DAV. Who’s that, speaking? (Pretending to look about.) O Chremes, you have come in good time. Do listen to this.

CHREM. I have heard it all already.

DAV. Prithee, did you hear it? Here’s villainy for you! she (pointing at MYSIS) ought to be carried off hence to the torture forthwith. (To MYSIS, pointing at CHREMES.) This is Chremes himself; don’t suppose that you are trifling with Davus only.

MYS. Wretched me! upon my faith I have told no untruth, my worthy old gentleman.

CHREM. I know the whole affair. Is Simo within?

DAV. He is. (CHREMES goes into SIMO’S house.)