Act IV, Scene III

Enter CLINIA at the other side of the stage.

CLIN. (to himself.) Nothing can possibly henceforth befall me of such consequence as to cause me uneasiness; so extreme is this joy that has surprised me. Now then I shall give myself up entirely to my father, to be more frugal than even he could wish.

SYR. (apart.) I wasn’t mistaken; she has been discovered, so far as I understand from these words of his. (Advancing.) I am rejoiced that this matter has turned out for you so much to your wish.

CLIN. O my dear Syrus, have you heard of it, pray?

SYR. How shouldn’t I, when I was present all the while?

CLIN. Did you ever hear of any thing falling out so fortunately for any one?

SYR. Never.

CLIN. And, so may the Gods prosper me, I do not now rejoice so much on my own account as hers, whom I know to be deserving of any honor.

SYR. I believe it: but now, Clinia, come, attend to me in my turn. For your friend’s business as well,-- it must be seen to-- that it is placed in a state of security, lest the old gentleman should now come to know any thing about his mistress.

CLIN. O Jupiter!

SYR. Do be quiet.

CLIN. My Antiphila will be mine.

SYR. Do you still interrupt me thus?

CLIN. What can I do? My dear Syrus, I’m transported with joy! Do bear with me.

SYR. I’ faith, I really do bear with you.

CLIN. We are blest with the life of the Gods.

SYR. I’m taking pains to no purpose, I doubt.

CLIN. Speak; I hear you.

SYR. But still you’ll not mind it.

CLIN. I will.

SYR. This must be seen to, I say, that your friend’s business as well is placed in a state of security. For if you now go away from us, and leave Bacchis here, our old man will immediately come to know that she is Clitipho’s mistress; if you take her away with you, it will be concealed just as much as it has been hitherto concealed.

CLIN. But still, Syrus, nothing can make more against my marriage than this; for with what face am I to address my father about it? You understand what I mean?

SYR. Why not?

CLIN. What can I say? What excuse can I make?

SYR. Nay, I don’t want you to dissemble; tell him the whole case just as it really is.

CLIN. What is it you say?

SYR. I bid you do this; tell him that you are in love with her, and want her for a wife: that this Bacchis is Clitipho’s mistress.

CLIN. You require a thing that is fair and reasonable, and easy to be done. And I suppose, then, you would have me request my father to keep it a secret from your old man.

SYR. On the contrary; to tell him directly the matter just as it is.

CLIN. What? Are you quite in your senses or sober? Why, you were for ruining him outright. For how could he be in a state of security? Tell me that.

SYR. For my part, I yield the palm to this device. Here I do pride myself exultingly, in having in myself such exquisite resources, and power of address so great, as to deceive them both by telling the truth: so that when your old man tells ours that she is his son’s mistress, he’ll still not believe him.

CLIN. But yet, by these means you again cut off all hopes of my marriage; for as long as Chremes believes that she is my mistress, he’ll not give me his daughter. Perhaps you care little what becomes of me, so long as you provide for him.

SYR. What the plague, do you suppose I want this pretense to be kept up for an age? ’Tis but for a single day, only till I have secured the money: you be quiet; I ask no more.

CLIN. Is that sufficient? If his father should come to know of it, pray, what then?

SYR. What if I have recourse to those who say, “What now if the sky were to fall?”

CLIN. I’m afraid to go about it.

SYR. You, afraid! As if it was not in your power to clear yourself at any time you like, and discover the whole matter.

CLIN. Well, well; let Bacchis be brought over to our house.

SYR. Capital! she is coming out of doors.