Act IV, Scene V

Enter CHREMES from his house.

CHREM. (to himself.) So may the Deities prosper me, I am now concerned for the fate of Menedemus, that so great a misfortune should have befallen him. To be maintaining that woman with such a retinue! Although I am well aware he’ll not be sensible of it for some days to come, his son was so greatly missed by him; but when he sees such a vast expense incurred by him every day at home, and no limit to it, he’ll wish that this son would leave him a second time. See-- here comes Syrus most opportunely.

SYR. (to himself, as he comes forward.) Why delay to accost him?

CHREM. Syrus.

SYR. Well.

CHREM. How go matters?

SYR. I’ve been wishing for some time for you to be thrown in my way.

CHREM. You seem, then, to have effected something, I know not what, with the old gentleman.

SYR. As to what we were talking of a short time since? No sooner said than done.

CHREM. In real earnest?

SYR. In real.

CHREM. Upon my faith, I can not forbear patting your head for it. Come here, Syrus; I’ll do you some good turn for this matter, and with pleasure. (Patting his head.)

SYR. But if you knew how cleverly it came into my head----

CHREM. Pshaw! Do you boast because it has turned out according to your wishes?

SYR. On my word, not I, indeed; I am telling the truth.

CHREM. Tell me how it is.

SYR. Clinia has told Menedemus, that this Bacchis is your Clitipho’s mistress, and that he has taken her thither with him in order that you might not come to know of it.

CHREM. Very good.

SYR. Tell me, please, what you think of it.

CHREM. Extremely good, I declare.

SYR. Why yes, pretty fair. But listen, what a piece of policy still remains. He is then to say that he has seen your daughter-- that her beauty charmed him as soon as he beheld her; and that he desires her for a wife.

CHREM. What, her that has just been discovered?

SYR. The same; and, in fact, he’ll request that she may be asked for.

CHREM. For what purpose, Syrus? For I don’t altogether comprehend it.

SYR. O dear, you are so dull.

CHREM. Perhaps so.

SYR. Money will be given him for the wedding-- with which golden trinkets and clothes---- do you understand me?

CHREM. To buy them----?

SYR. Just so.

CHREM. But I neither give nor betroth my daughter to him.

SYR. But why?

CHREM. Why, do you ask me? To a fellow----

SYR. Just as you please. I don’t mean that in reality you should give her to him, but that you should pretend it.

CHREM. Pretending is not in my way; do you mix up these plots of yours, so as not to mix me up in them. Do you think that I’ll betroth my daughter to a person to whom I will not marry her?

SYR. I imagined so.

CHREM. By no means.

SYR. It might have been cleverly managed; and I undertook this affair for the very reason, that a short time since you so urgently requested it.

CHREM. I believe you.

SYR. But for my part, Chremes, I take it well and good, either way.

CHREM. But still, I especially wish you to do your best for it to be brought about; but in some other way.

SYR. It shall be done: some other method must be thought of; but as to what I was telling you of,-- about the money which she owes to Bacchis,-- that must now be repaid her. And you will not, of course, now be having recourse to this method; “What have I to do with it? Was it lent to me? Did I give any orders? Had she the power to pawn my daughter without my consent?” They quote that saying, Chremes, with good reason, “Rigorous law is often rigorous injustice.”

CHREM. I will not do so.

SYR. On the contrary, though others were at liberty, you are not at liberty; all think that you are in good and very easy circumstances.

CHREM. Nay rather, I’ll at once carry it to her myself.

SYR. Why no; request your son in preference.

CHREM. For what reason?

SYR. Why, because the suspicion of being in love with her has been transferred to him with Menedemus.

CHREM. What then?

SYR. Because it will seem to be more like probability when he gives it her; and at the same time I shall effect more easily what I wish. Here he comes too; go, and bring out the money.

CHREM. I’ll bring it. (Goes into his house.)