Act V

Scene I.

Enter PARMENO, moving along with difficulty.

PAR. (to himself.) Upon my faith, my master does assuredly think my labor of little value; to have sent me for nothing, where I have been sitting the whole day to no purpose, waiting at the citadel for Callidemides, his landlord at Myconos. And so, while sitting there to-day, like a fool, as each person came by, I accosted him:-- “Young man, just tell me, pray, are you a Myconian?” “I am not.” “But is your name Callidemides?” “No.” “Have you any former guest here named Pamphilus?” All said. “No; and I don’t believe that there is any such person.” At last, i’ faith, I was quite ashamed, and went away. But how is it I see Bacchis coming out of our neighbor’s? What business can she have there?

Scene II.

Enter BACCHIS, from the house of PHIDIPPUS.

BACCH. Parmeno, you make your appearance opportunely; run with all speed to Pamphilus.

PAR. Why thither?

BACCH. Say that I entreat him to come.

PAR. To your house?

BACCH. No; to Philumena.

PAR. What’s the matter?

BACCH. Nothing that concerns you; so cease to make inquiry.

PAR. Am I to say nothing else?

BACCH. Yes; that Myrrhina has recognized that ring as her daughter’s, which he formerly gave me.

PAR. I understand-- is that all?

BACCH. That’s all. He will be here directly he has heard this from you. But do you linger?

PAR. Far from it, indeed; for I’ve not had the opportunity given me to-day; so much with running and walking about have I wasted the whole day. (Goes into the house of LACHES.)

Scene III.

BACCHIS, alone.

BACCH. What great joy have I caused for Pamphilus by my coming to-day! How many blessings have I brought him! and from how many sorrows have I rescued him! A son I save for him, when it was nearly perishing through the agency of these women and of himself: a wife, whom he thought that he must cast off forever, I restore to him: from the suspicion that he lay under with his father and Phidippus, I have cleared him. This ring, in fact, was the cause of these discoveries being made. For I remember, that about ten months ago, at an early hour of night, he came running home to my house, out of breath, without a companion, and surcharged with wine, with this ring in his hand. I felt alarmed immediately: “My Pamphilus,” I said, “prithee, my dear, why thus breathless, or where did you get that ring? --tell me!” He began to pretend that he was thinking of something else. When I saw that, I began to suspect I know not what, and to press him still more to tell me. The fellow confessed that he had ravished some female, he knew not whom, in the street; and said, that while she was struggling, he had taken that ring away from her. Myrrhina here recognized it just now, while I had it on my finger. She asked whence it came: I told her all the story. Hence the discovery has been made that it was Philumena ravished by him, and that this new-born child is his. I am overjoyed that this happiness has befallen him through my agency; although other courtesans would not have similar feelings; nor, indeed, is it to our interest that any lover should find pleasure in matrimony. But, i’faith, I never, for the sake of gain, will give my mind to base actions. So long as I had the opportunity, I found him to be kind, easy, and good-natured. This marriage has fallen out unluckily for me,-- that I confess to be the fact. But, upon my word, I do think that I have done nothing for it to befall me deservedly. It is but reasonable to endure inconveniences from one from whom I have received so many benefits.

Scene IV.

Enter PAMPHILUS and PARMENO, from the house of LACHES, on the other side of the stage.

PAM. Once more, take care, will you, my dear Parmeno, that you have brought me a faithful and distinct account, so as not to allure me for a short time to indulge in these transient joys.

PAR. I have taken care.

PAM. For certain?

PAR. For certain.

PAM. I am quite a God, if it is so!

PAR. You’ll find it true.

PAM. Just stay, will you; I fear that I’m believing one thing, and you are telling another.

PAR. I am staying.

PAM. I think you said to this effect-- that Myrrhina had discovered that Bacchis has her ring.

PAR. It is the fact.

PAM. The one I formerly gave to her; and she has desired you to tell me this: is such the fact?

PAR. Such is so, I tell you.

PAM. Who is there happier than I, and, in fact, more full of joyousness? What am I to present you for these tidings? What? --what? I know not.

PAR. But I know.

PAM. What?

PAR. Why, nothing; for neither in the tidings nor in myself do I know of there being any advantage to you.

PAM. What! am I to suffer you, who have caused me, when dead, to be restored from the shades to life-- to leave me unrewarded? Oh, you deem me too thankless! But look-- I see Bacchis standing before the door; she’s waiting for me, I suppose; I’ll accost her.

BACCH. Save you, Pamphilus!

PAM. Oh Bacchis! Oh my Bacchis-- my preserver!

BACCH. It is a fortunate thing, and gives me great delight.

PAM. By your actions, you give me reason to believe you, and so much do you retain your former charming qualities, that wherever you go, the meeting with you, your company, your conversation, always give pleasure.

BACCH. And you, upon my word, possess your former manners and disposition; so much so that not a single man living is more engaging than you.

PAM. (laughing.) Ha, ha, ha! do you tell me so?

BACCH. You had reason, Pamphilus, for being so fond of your wife. For never before to-day did I set eyes upon her, so as to know her: she seems a very gentle person.

PAM. Tell the truth.

BACCH. So may the Gods bless me, Pamphilus!

PAM. Tell me, have you as yet told any of these matters to my father?

BACCH. Not a word.

PAM. Nor is there need, in fact; therefore keep it a secret: I don’t wish it to be the case here as it is in the Comedies, where every thing is known to every body. Here, those who ought to know, know already; but those who ought not to know, shall neither hear of it nor know it.

BACCH. Nay more, I will give you a proof why you may suppose that this may be the more easily concealed. Myrrhina has told Phidippus to this effect-- that she has given credit to my oath, and that, in consequence, in her eyes you are exculpated.

PAM. Most excellent; and I trust that this matter will turn out according to our wishes.

PAR. Master, may I not be allowed to know from you what is the good that I have done to-day, or what it is you are talking about?

PAM. You may not.

PAR. Still I suspect. “I restore him, when dead, from the shades below.” In what way?

PAM. You don’t know, Parmeno, how much you have benefited me to-day, and from what troubles you have extricated me.

PAR. Nay, but indeed I do know: and I did not do it without design.

PAM. I know that well enough (ironically).

BACCH. Could Parmeno, from negligence, omit any thing that ought to be done?

PAM. Follow me in, Parmeno.

PAR. I’ll follow; for my part, I have done more good to-day, without knowing it, than ever I did, knowingly, in all my life. (Coming forward.) Grant us your applause.