Mixed

Just outside my door, I heard someone say,
A man bit a dog in a dangerous way;
Such a message I n'er for a moment could stand,
So I took up the door and I opened my hand,
I snatched up the dog I should say double-quick
And threw him with all of my force at a brick;
The brick--I'm afraid you will not understand--
I found in a moment had bitten my hand;
I mounted a chair, on a horse I was borne,
I blew on a drum, and I beat on a horn.