An Epigram in Curium Lampetram: A Cashierd Courtier

Cvrius Lampetra, (as he doth confesse)
For he was t'ane i'th nicke, o'th businesse,
Ha's done, soone done, God wot, a worthy deede,
Setting the Courts wreath on the Cities head:
But for his wreath, before one Terms demurre,
He was degraded of his Courtly spurre.
(True badge of Honour) and from that time swore,
Nere to approach the Cities confines more.
What should he doe? the Citie was his gaine,
For poore Lampetra nere had courtly straine;
But apish imitation, whose small force
Made him admired, like an Hobby horse.
And yet they say, he had a wit at will:
Running like the rundell of a blind horse-mill.
Could sweare an oath, could fome at mouth could set
His words in fustain, and could runne in debt,
Could skrew his face, could moralize a fable,
Yet nere read Aesop, sit at Duke Humfreys Table,
Could walke a turne in Paules, could talke of Spaine,
Yet nere was there, and then come home againe.
Why this is courtly, and this he could doe,
Yea but Lampetra knew not how to woe.
Not wooe? why he could kisse, and as they sing
I'th ballad too, he could doe tother thing.
"A Pox thats true: But shall I tell thee why
She told all out? he did so scuruily:
"As at the very instant when theyre aine,
Shee said (poore foole) put vp thy pipe againe,
For such a Fidler is farre worse then none,
That plaies on still, yet has no stroake but one.
But prethee say, what shall Lampetra doe?
(As other Courtiers) make a foolish show
Of what they haue not: no, it is decreed,
Being boorish bred, he must with boores goe feede
On huskes and hawes; and that he may retaine
Some courtly garbe, his ruins to maintaine
Ith Country must this rusticke swaine be plast,
To purchase pardons, when the iudgement's past:
Or he may finde a Giant at S t Bees
And with his sight get money if he please.