Uncle Tascus and the Deed

Uncle Peter Tascus Runnels has been feeble some of late;
He has allus been a worker and he sartinly did hate
To confess he couldn't tussle with the spryest any more,
--That he wasn't fit for nothin' but to fub around an' chore.
When he climbed the stable scaffold t'other day he had a spell,
--Kind o' heart-disease or somethin'--an' I heard he like to fell.
Guess the prospect sort o' scared him; so, that ev'nin' after tea,
--After he had smoked a pipeful--pretty solemn, then says he,
"Reckin, son, ye've noticed lately that your dad is gittin' old,
An' your marm is nigh as feeble;--much as ever she can scold!"
Uncle Tascus said so grinnin'; for the folks around here know
That no better-natured woman ever lived than old Aunt Jo.
"Now, my son," said Uncle Tascus, "you've been good to me an' marm,
An' you know we allus told ye, ye was sure to have the farm.
An' we like your wife Lucindy; there has never been no touse
As is generly apt to happen with two famblys in the house.
I can't manage as I used to; mother's gittin' pretty slim,
An' to hold our prop'ty longer is a whim, bub, jest a whim!
So I'll tell ye what I'm plannin', an' I know that marm agrees,
We'll sign off an' make it over; then we'll sort o' take our ease.
So, hitch up to-morrer mornin'--drive us down to Lawyer True,
Me an' marm will sign the papers, an' we'll deed the place to you."
Lawyer True looked kind o' doubtful when they told him what was on.
"I'll admit," said he, "that no one's got a better boy than John.
Now don't think I'm interferin' or am prophesyin' harm,
When I warn ye not to do it; don't ye deed away your farm.
I have seen so many cases--heard 'em tried most ev'ry term--
Where a deed has busted fam'lies, that, I swow, it makes me squirm
If I'm asked to write a transfer to a relative or son.
Tascus, please excuse my meddlin', but--ye hold it till ye're done."
Uncle Tascus, though, insisted. He was allus rather sot.
He allowed he'd show the neighbors jest the kind of son he'd got.
--Said he'd show 'em how a Runnels allus stuck by kith an' kin,
So the lawyer drew the papers--an' they started home agin,
Uncle Tascus held the webbin's--he has allus driv' the hoss--
John he chuckled kind o' nervous. Then said he, "Wal, pa, I'm boss!
Now ye've never got to worry--I'm the one to take the lead,
Things were gettin' kind o' logy--guess I'll have to put on speed.
An' as now I head the fam'ly, an' you're sort of on the shelf,
Guess I'll"--John he took the webbin's--
"guess I'd better drive, myself."
Wal, s'r, Uncle Tascus pondered, pondered, pondered all that day.
An' that evenin' still was pond'rin', as he rocked an' smoked away.
John he set dus' up t' table, underneath the hangin' lamp,
Ciph'rin' out that legal paper with its seal an' rev'nue stamp.
Then he folded it an' chuckled. "That's all right an' tight," he said,
"Lawyers tie things tighter'n Jehu. Dad, ye'd better go to bed.
You an' marm are gettin' feeble; mustn't have ye up so late!
I'm the boss--" John sort o' te-heed, "so I'll have to keep ye straight.
'Sides, I'll need ye bright an' early. In the mornin' hitch the mare,
Take that paper down t' court-house. Have it put on record there."
Uncle Tascus took the writin', pulled his specs down on his nose,
Read it over very careful. Then says he, "My son, I s'pose
You are jest as good's they make 'em; I hain't got no fault to find,
You are thrifty, smart an' stiddy; rather bluff, but allus kind,
An' I guess you'd prob'ly use us jest as well's ye really knew,
But I hain't so awful sartin that I'm done an' out an' through!
--Tell ye, son, I've been a-thinkin' since ye took an' driv' that hoss,
--Since ye sort o' throwed your shoulders an' allowed that you was boss!
Hate to act so whiffle-minded, but my father used to say,
'Men would sometimes change opinions; mules would stick the same old way.'"
Uncle Tascus tore the paper twice acrost, then calmly threw
On the fire the shriv'lin' pieces. Poof! They vanished up the flue.
"There, bub, run to bed," said Tascus, with his sweet, old-fashioned smile.
"These old hands are sort of shaky, but I guess
I'll drive a while."