Grampy's Lullaby

Your marmy's mixin' cream o' tartar biskit up for tea;
Fie, deedle, deedle, leetle ba-a-arby!
And I reckon you had better come and roost upon my knee;
Tumpy, dumpy, deedle, leetle barby!

I s'picion how ye never heard of Ebernezer
Cowles.
Tell ye what, he warn't brung up to be afraid of owls.
Reckon that a spryer critter never tailored boots;
Allus up to monkey tricks and full o' squirms and scoots.
Once he done a curis thing, I vummy, on a stump:
Set a larder up one end and gin' a mighty jump;
Run right up the larder, jest as nimble as a monkey,
Balarnced, I sh'd suttin say, a minit--all ahunky;
Then he straddled out on air and grabbed the pesky larder
And run 'er up another length--another length, suh, farder;
Skittered up that larder 'fore she had a chance to teeter,
Quicker'n any pussy cat--lighter'n a moskeeter.
Soon's he clambered to the top, grabbed the upper rung,
Ketched hisself with t'other hand, and there the critter hung.
Gaffled up his britches' slack and took a resky charnce
And thar' he held hisself right out, arms-length, suh, by his parnts.
Ye ought ter heerd, my barby dear, the cheerins and the howls
The crowd let out when they'd obsarved that trick of Mister Cowles.

Sing'lar thing of which I sing--might not think 'twas true;
Fie, deedle, deedle, leetle ba-a-arby!
But ye know, my leetle snoozer, grampy wouldn't lie to you,
--To his dumpy, dumpy deedle, leetle barby.

Hush, I guess that mammy isn't done a-makin' bread,
We ain't at all pertic'lar how she overhears what's said.
Ye're over-young, purraps, to hear of Sam'wel Doubl'yer Strout,
--Weighed about two hundred pounds, and, chowder, warn't he stout!
Used to work for me one time as sort of extry hand,
--Allus planned to 'gage him when I cleared up any land;
Once I see him lug a rock with fairly mod'rit ease
So hefty that at ev'ry step he sunk above his knees.
Hain't at all surprised to see the wonder in your eye;
Fie, deedle, deedle, leetle ba-a-arby!
But ye know your poor old grampy wouldn't tell ye ary lie,
--To his tumpy, dumpy deedle, leetle barby.

Course ye've never heerd 'em tell of Atha-ni-al Prime,
For he was round a-raisin' Cain so long afore your time.
Used to run the muley saw down to Hopkins mill,
--Allus euttin' ding-does up--a master curis pill!

Once the chaps that tended sluice stood upon a log,
Got to argyin' this and that, suthin' 'bout a dog.
Clean forgot to start the log a-goin' up the sluice,
But shook their fists and hollered round and spit torbarker juice.
Atha-ni-al heerd the towse and grabbed a pickpole up,
--Wasn't goin' to stop a mill to fight about a pup,--
Tied a rope around the pole and then he let her flam,
Speared the end of that air log and yanked her quicker'n Sam.
Log, suh, come right out the bark, he twitched the thing so quick;
Fellers never felt the yank, 'twas done so smooth and slick.
Log come out and up the sluice and left behind the bark,
--Fellers thought the log was there and stood and chawed till dark.
Sing'lar things has come to pass when I was young as you;
Fie, deedle, deedle, leetle ba-a-arby!
And best of all, what grampy sings you bet your life is true,
Tumpy, deedle, dumpy, leetle barby.