Stage Support

When I stand as 'Independent' next election,
I shall vanquish my opponents, Smith and Brown.
(Smith's a Unionist, in favour of Protection,
Brown's a Radical Free Trader of renown.)
But my triumph at the polls I shall attribute, I confess,
To the men of light and leading whose assistance spelt success.

Smith may marshal Austen Chamberlains and Carsons
On his platform, for the populace to view;
Brown may muster all his Nonconformist parsons,
And a member of the Cabinet or two;
I shall need no brilliant orators, no Ministers of State,
If I only can rely on the support of Harry Tate!

Brown has posters: 'Vote for Brown and Old Age Pensions!'
Smith has placards: 'Vote for Smith and Work for All!'
I shall calmly call constituents' attentions
To the pet of ev'ry London music hall,
When I publish, as his message, on each flaming window-card:
'Every Vote you give to Johnson is a vote for Wilkie Bard!'

Can you wonder, then, that Independents rally
Round a candidate to whom the Fates allot
That his meetings shall be graced by Cinquevalli,
And his policy endorsed by Malcolm Scott?
Or that ev'ry one should mention--proud and humble, poor and rich--
That a vote for Mr. Johnson is a vote for Little Tich?