Modern

Harry Graham

1874–1936


Jocelyn Henry Clive Graham (1874–1936), known as Harry Graham, was an English writer and soldier who served as an officer in the Coldstream Guards. He worked as a journalist and later wrote lyrics for operettas and musical comedies.

He is remembered for his humorous verse of grotesque and black comedy, much of it published under the name “Col. D. Streamer.” Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1901–02) was followed by Perverted Proverbs, Misrepresentative Men and Women, Verse and Worse, Familiar Faces and The Motley Muse; the poems here are taken from those seven books (1902–1913). Verse and Worse reprints several earlier pieces, which appear only once, under the earlier book.

  1. Dedication (Ruthless Rhymes)
  2. Uncle Joe
  3. Impetuous Samuel
  4. Inconsiderate Hannah
  5. Aunt Eliza
  6. Self-Sacrifice
  7. La Course Interrompue
  8. John
  9. The Fond Father
  10. Necessity
  11. Unselfishness
  12. Scorching John
  13. Misfortunes Never Come Singly
  14. The Perils of Obesity
  15. Tender-Heartedness
  16. Jim; or, the Deferred Luncheon Party
  17. Appreciation
  18. Baby
  19. Nurse's Mistake
  20. The Stern Parent
  21. Bluebeard
  22. The Cat
  23. The Children's "Don't"
  24. Envoi
  25. Virtue is Its Own Reward
  26. Enough is as Good as a Feast
  27. Don't Buy a Pig in a Poke
  28. Learn to Take Things Easily
  29. A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
  30. After Dinner Sit a While; After Supper Walk a Mile
  31. It is Never Too Late to Mend
  32. A Bad Workman Complains of his Tools
  33. Potpourri
  34. Envoi: Don't Look a Gifthorse in the Mouth
  35. Aftword
  36. Theodore Roosevelt
  37. Bacon
  38. Adam
  39. Joan of Arc
  40. Paderewski
  41. William Tell
  42. Diogenes
  43. Sir Thomas Lipton
  44. Marat
  45. Ananias
  46. Nero
  47. Aftword
  48. Postlude
  49. The Baby's Baedeker: Abroad
  50. The Baby's Baedeker: United States of America
  51. The Baby's Baedeker: Great Britain
  52. The Baby's Baedeker: Scotland
  53. The Baby's Baedeker: Ireland
  54. The Baby's Baedeker: Wales
  55. The Baby's Baedeker: China
  56. The Baby's Baedeker: France
  57. The Baby's Baedeker: Germany
  58. The Baby's Baedeker: Holland
  59. The Baby's Baedeker: Iceland
  60. The Baby's Baedeker: Italy
  61. The Baby's Baedeker: Japan
  62. The Baby's Baedeker: Portugal
  63. The Baby's Baedeker: Russia
  64. The Baby's Baedeker: Spain
  65. The Baby's Baedeker: Switzerland
  66. The Baby's Baedeker: Turkey
  67. The Baby's Baedeker: Dreamland
  68. The Baby's Baedeker: Stageland
  69. The Baby's Baedeker: Loverland
  70. The Baby's Baedeker: Homeland
  71. Childish Complaints: Prelude
  72. Childish Complaints: Appendicitis
  73. Childish Complaints: Whooping-cough
  74. Childish Complaints: Measles
  75. Childish Complaints: Adenoids
  76. Childish Complaints: Croup
  77. Mother-Wit
  78. Uncle Joe
  79. Absent-Mindedness
  80. Baby
  81. Bill
  82. The Legend of the Author
  83. The Motriot
  84. The Ballad of the Artist
  85. The Ballad of Ping-Pong
  86. The Pessimist
  87. The Place Where the Old Cleek Broke
  88. The Homes of London
  89. The Happiest Land
  90. A London Involuntary
  91. The Woman with the Dead Soles
  92. Rosemary
  93. Portknockie's Porter
  94. The Ballad of the Little Jinglander
  95. Envoi
  96. Eve
  97. Lady Godiva
  98. Miss Marie Corelli
  99. Mrs. Mary Baker Eddy
  100. Mrs. Grundy
  101. Mrs. Christopher Columbus
  102. Dame Rumor
  103. The Cry of the Children
  104. The Cry of the Elders
  105. An Epithalamium
  106. The Self-Made Father to His Ready-Made Son
  107. The Author to His Hostess
  108. On the Decline of Gentility Among the Young
  109. Lochinvar
  110. Abbreviation’s Artful Aid
  111. Author’s Aftword
  112. The Cry of the Publisher
  113. The Cry of the Author
  114. The Fumbler
  115. The Baritone
  116. The Actor Manager
  117. The Gilded Youth
  118. The Gourmand
  119. The Dentist
  120. The Man Who Knows
  121. The Faddist
  122. The Colonel
  123. The Waiter
  124. The Policeman
  125. The Music-Hall Comedian
  126. The Conversational Reformer
  127. King Leopold
  128. "Bart's" Club
  129. The Reviewer
  130. L'Envoi
  131. What's in a Name?
  132. Nobody's Darling!
  133. Roses All the Way
  134. The Triumph of Jam
  135. Egregious Eastbourne
  136. Sarah Owen
  137. The Last Horsed 'Bus
  138. Stage Support
  139. Scribblers All!
  140. The Lyons Cubs
  141. The Cries of London
  142. The Model Farm
  143. The Adventurer
  144. A Plea for Ponto
  145. The 'Waster'
  146. The Choice
  147. Ode on a Distant Prospect of Boston School
  148. The Sporting Spirit
  149. Perspective
  150. Rag-Time
  151. The Pipes
  152. Modern Dancing
  153. The Public Interest
  154. The Militants
  155. Plagues at the Play
  156. A Suggestion
  157. The Model Motorist
  158. The Parish Pump
  159. Police Court Sense
  160. Club Cantos, Canto I: The Athenaeum
  161. Club Cantos, Canto II: White's
  162. Club Cantos, Canto III: The Bachelors'
  163. Club Cantos, Canto IV: The Garrick
  164. Club Cantos, Canto V: The Automobile
  165. Club Cantos, Canto VI: Brooks's
  166. Club Cantos, Canto VII: The Beefsteak
  167. Club Cantos, Canto VIII: The Travellers'
  168. Club Cantos, Canto IX: The Bath
  169. New Year's Eve
  170. February
  171. Spring
  172. Spring-Cleaning
  173. Royal Ascot
  174. Roses
  175. The End of the Season
  176. The Cockney of the North
  177. The Twelfth
  178. November
  179. The Cynic's Christmas
  180. Envoi

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