Mime III: The Schoolmaster

METROTIME

An thou hope, Lampriskos, that the deare Muses mote give thee some pleasaunce and joyaunce of lyfe, so do thou beat this boye lefte ashoulder, till his last curst breath hang ons lips. Playing hazardry he hath spoiled the roof from his poor mother : for, Lampriskos, the knucklebones suffice not, but our affayres ever wax warre. Where lieth the dore of the writing-master, and the curst last day of month ask his sold, weep I as much as Nannacus, this note he say forthright: but the gaming-place, where dwell the churles and runagates, he wotteth enow to direct his fellow. And the poor tablet which each month I werke to cere, lieth beraft before the wall-ward post of our pallet, an it so be he scowl not on it as ‘twere Death, and write naught fair thereon, but scrape it clene. But his dibs, glossier far than our oil-flask, the which we use algates, lye in theyre bags and nets. And he note conne the letter A, save one schriech it to him five times. Two daies agone when his father dictated ‘ Maron’ to him this fine fellow made Simon o’t: wherefore I dubbed myself fool that taught him not to pasture asses but gave him an educacioun in lettres, deming I sholde be holpen when smit in yeres. And when or I or his father, an old man ylfavoured of eyen and ears, bid him say a speche, as one doth a child, then while he leaketh the words— Apollo ’— Hunter ’— why that,’ quoth I, ‘even grandam could tell you albe she hath lost her lettres, or any Phrygian serf in the stretes’ ; and should we rate him more raucously, then for three daies he knoweth not the threshold of our habitaunce, but despoyleth his granddam, an old dame beraft of sustenaunce, or else stretcheth his legs astride the roof and sitteth pering alow like some monkey. What thinkest my poor harte suffereth when I see him? Nay, and this is a small matter : but all the tyling are disshivered like wafers, and whensoever winter be nigh, sobbing I pay three grotes for each tyle ; for all the tenement hath but one voice, ‘Tis the werke of Kottalos, childe of Metrotime,’ and sooth is it, so they may keep their teeth whole. And see how he hath peled all his chine in the woodland, like some Delian lobster-fisher, dragging out his blunted life afloat. But the seventh daies and twentieth he wotteth of better than the stargazers, and not e’en sleep o’ertaketh him as he reckoneth when ye kepe playday. But Lampriskos, as thou hopest these dames may render thee fair avauntage in life, and mayest encounter fortune, give him not less—

LAMPRISKOS

Metrotime, cease imprecaciouns: he shall lose naught. Hither Euthies, hither Kokkalos, hither Phillos ; lift him forthright ashoulder and shew him to Aceses’ full moon. (They do so.) Kottalos, I admire your haveour. Sufficeth it not to play dibs quick-eyed like these, but must hie to the gaming-place and play with the churles at toss-penny? I will make thee moe modest than a maid ne’er moving mote, an that be thy pleasaunce. Bring hither the smarting lash, the bull’s pizzle wherewith I flay the gyved and unruly: put it in mine hand ere I choke with choler.

KOTTALOS

I adjure thee, Lampriskos, by the Muses, and thy beard and the life of thy deare Kottalos, damnify me not with the smarter but with the other.

LAMPRISKOS

But thou art bad, Kottalos. E’en selling none would prayse thee, e’en where mice eat iron summer-tyde and winter-tyde alike. (He beats him.)

KOTTALOS

How many, how many blows, Lampriskos, wilt lay on me?

LAMPRISKOS

Ask not me, but her.

KOTTALOS

Ow! how many will ye give?

METROTIME

As thou wishest me life, as many as your wicked hyde can bear.

KOTTALOS

Stop! Enow, Lampriskos.

LAMPRISKOS

Stop thou too thy villainy.

KOTTALOS

Ne’er again will I do aught, I swear to thee, Lampriskos, by the deare Muses.

LAMPRISKOS

And what a tongue hast thou gotten, boye! I will set the gag on thee an thou prate moe.

KOTTALOS

See, I am silent : prithee slay me not.

LAMPRISKOS

Kokkalos, lose ye him. (They do so.)

METROTIME

Thou shouldest not have ceast, Lampriskos, but beat him—

LAMPRISKOS

Till sun welke?

METROTIME

Aye, far more knavish than hydra is he, and he must get—

LAMPRISKOS

An he studie his book ?

KOTTALOS

Naught whatsoever.

METROTIME

Aye, twenty moe blowes, e’en though he shall read better than Clio herself.

KOTTALOS

Yah!

METROTIME

Mayst wake to find tongue cu—t

LAMPRISKOS

—ltured in honied eloquence.

METROTIME

I will hie home, Lampriskos, and tell the old man of this so een he can grasp it, and return with gyves that the Ladies whom he hated may see him daunce here foot-tight.