An Apologie for Watermen

Such imputations, and such daily wrongs
Are laid on Watermen, by Enuious tongues.
To cleare the which, if I should silent be
T'were basenesse, and stupidity in me.
Nor doe I purpose now with inke and pen,
To write of them, as they are watermen,
But this I speake, defending their vocation
From slanders false, and idle imputation.
Yet should I onely of the men but speake
I could the top of Enuies Coxcombe breake.
For I would haue all men to vnderstand
A Waterman's a man by Sea or Land.
And on the land and sea, can seruice do
To serue his King, as well as other two:
He'le guard his Country both on seas and shore
And what (a Gods name) can a man doe more.
Like double men they well can play indeed
The Soldiers, and the Sailers for a need.
If they did yeerely vse to scoure the Maine,
As erst they did, in wars twixt vs and Spaine,
I then to speake, would boldly seeme to dare
One Sailer with two Soldiers should compare.
But now sweet peace their skill at Sea so duls,
That many are more sit to vse their sculs
Then for the sea, for why! the want of vse
Is Arts confusion, and best skils abuse.
And not to be too partiall in my words,
I thinke no Company more knaues affoords:
And this must be the reason, because farre
Aboue all Companies their numbers are:
And where the multitude of men most is,
By consequence there must be most amisse.
And sure of honest men it hath as many,
As any other Company hath any.
Though not of wealth they haue super fluous store,
Contents is a Kingdome, and they seeke no more.
Of Mercers, Grocers, Drapers, men shall finde
Men that to loose babauiour are inclinde.
Of Goldsmiths, Silkemen, Clothworkers, and Skinners,
When they are at the best they all are sinners.
And drunken rascalles are of euery Trade,
Should I name all, I or'e the bootes should wade?
If Watermen be onely knaues alone,
Let all that's faultlesse cast at them a stone.
Some may reply to my Apology:
How they in plying are vnmannerly,
And one from tother, hale, and pul, and teare,
And raise, and braule, and curse, and banne, and sweare.
In this ile not defend them with excuses,
I alwaies did, and doe hate those abuses.
The honest vse, of this true trade I sing,
And not the abuses that from thence doe spring.
And sure no Company hath Lawes more strict,
Then Watermen, which weekely they inflict
Vpon offenders, who are made pay duely
Their fines, or prison'd, cause they plide vnruly.
They keepe no shops, nor sell deceitfull wares,
But like to Pilgrims trauell for their fares,
And they must aske the question where they goe.
If men will goe by water yea or no
Which being spoke aright, the fault's not such,
But any Tradesman (sure) will doe as much.
The Mercer as ye passe along the way
Will aske what d'e lacke, come neere I pray.
The Draper whose warme ware doth clad the backe,
Will be so bolde as aske ye what d'e lacke.
The Goldsmith midst his siluer and his gold
To aske you, what d'e lacke he will be bold.
Through Birchin lane, who euer often goes,
Saies, Watermen are honest men to those,
And if your Coate be torne, before you goe,
Of euery rent, with rending thei'le make two.
This being granted, as none can deny,
Most Trades aswell as Watermen doe plye,
If in their plying they doe chance to iarre,
They doe but like the Lawyers at the Barre.
Who plead as if they meant by the'ares to fall,
And when the Court doth rise, to friendship fall.
So Watermen, that for a fare contends
The fare once gone, the Watermen are friends.
And this I know, and therefore dare maintaine,
That he that truely labours and takes paine,
May with a better Conscience sleepe in bed,
Then he that is with ill got thousands sped.
So well I like it, and such loue I owe
Vnto it, that Ile fall againe to Rowe:
Twill keepe my health from falling to decay,
Get money, and chase Idlenesse away.
I'm sure it for Antiqnity hath stood,
Since the worlds drowning vniuersall flood,
And howsoeuer now it rise or fall.
The Boate in Noahs Del
And though our wits, be like our purses bare,
With any Company we'le make compare
To write a Verse, prouided that they be
No better skild in Schollership then we.
And then come one, come thousands, nay, come all,
And for a wager wele to Versing fall.