Fragment L: My mind is in a strange distracted state

My mind is in a strange distracted state ;
Love you I cannot !—and I cannot hate !
Tis hard to change habitual goodwill,
Hard to renounce our better thoughts for ill,
To love without return is harder still.
But mark my resolution and protest !
Those services, for which you once profess’d
A sense of obligation due to me,
On. my part were gratuitous and free;
No task had I, no duty to fulfil ;
No motive, but a kind and friendly will.—
Now, like a liberated bird, I fly,
That, having snapt the noose, ranges on high,
Proud of his flight, and viewing in disdain
The broken fetter and the baffled swain,
And his old haunt, the lowly marshy plain !
For you! the secret interested end
Of him, your new pretended party friend,
Whose instigation mov’d you to forégo
Your friendship, time will shortly show ;
Time will unravel all the close design,
And mark his merits, as compar’d with mine.