Book V, Chapter 25

THe Kings fayre Leiman Rosamund, and how his Sonnes rebell
Iouer-passe. To Richard next the Dyadem befel.
He did in Cypris, Sycil, and in Syria warre and winne:
Whose glory his confederate Peeres to enuy did bginne:
And, warring with the Souldan, left the English King behinde:
Who left not fighting till he forst Conditions to his minde,
And of Ierusalem was King. But as he did returne,
The Austrich Duke, (whose reared flagge our wrōged king did spurne
From Acon walles, his victorie,) did Richard intercept,
And him in easelesse prison for reuenge and raunsome kept.

The Duke his daughter, as the King did theare a captiue lie,
Did labour strongly in the loue she would but could not flie:
And sighing wept, and weeping spake, and speaking thus shee sayd:
Richard through hate, through loue am I in diffring bands betrayd.
My haruest hangeth in the grasse, and ere the proofe may blast:
Or clew-led Theseus, from the denne of Minotaurus past,
To farre more harder starres than was poore Ariadne lest
Leaue me he may, of all, yea, more than all, of him bereft.
Sweet Loue, Saint Loue, or rather I thy Saint and thou my God,
In such desarts let such deceite be, as should be, forbod.
The Gailor, bribed, with his keyes to stay or free him sent her.
Loue (louely Richard) makes, quoth she, that I this hell-house enter,
Hence make escape, remembring me that thus for thee doe venter.

Attentiue to her sprech, but more retentiue of her shape,
The King, awaking to her forme, did sleepe his owne escape:
And giuing her a meeting kisse, quoth he, so God me keepe
As true desire to quite this good in mee shall neuer sleepe.
Yeat ransomelesse I will not hence: but fetching backe the lone,
When as thy Father shall repay to England tenne for one,
I vow thy loue a recompence, till when I liue to thee.
Thus seuer they: and raunsome him ere many weekes did free.

Soone after on the Belgicke towers he English-flags did reare:
Austrich and all the Empire of his prowesse stoode in feare:
Vntill a desperate Stragler with an arrow pierst his head,
And sent the wofull English home, their worthie Leader dead:
Thus Lyons-hart (his courage got that surname) lastly sped.
To whom King Iohn, in courage not inferior to the other,
Succeeded, but in life and death moretragicke than his brother.

IN Scotland, Fraunce, Ireland, and Wales he warred, wearied lesse,
Than by the Pope and English Priests wronged without redresse,
Nor was, saue from their Soueraignes death, their malice out of date:
Yeat Iohn, faine they, hut they felt Iohn, did trouble Church and state.
When (for as Gaylers with Conuicts, so Popes deale with a faulter:
Their sin-salue like the setting loose from Shackles to the haulter)
When Masse and all the Sacraments were Strangers many a day,
And that, so farreforth as it in the triple Myter lay,
Euen God himselfe was barred hence, and that, prostrate before
His Vassall Bishop Langtons feete, the King did grace implore,
When Peter pence were graunted, and the English Crowne to hold
By rent and Homage of the Pope, and that for sums of gold
The French Kings son was cursed hēce, who els had wore ye Crowne
And that the reconciled King did seeme on surest ground,
Then he, whil'st he in progresse did at Swinshed Abbey lye,
Was poysned by a Monke, that baend himselfe that Iohn might dye.

The Monke, more solemnely inter'd and song for than the King,
Was cause that diuers diuersly did consture of the thing.
Some charg'd the Popes of Auarice, for that when Rings offend
They sell them peace: of pride, for that to them euen Monarks bend:
Of meere incharitie, for that to wreake their priuate spight
Gainst Kingdomes Kingdomes they incense, and, worser, do acquite
Euen subiects to allegiance sworne against their Lords to fight:
Of Treason, for that to intrap such as from them discent
With othes and al things they dispence: Some bid vs thus preuent
Their sinnes and sleights, doe not as they, not deale with them, for why?
Who doth must liue their Vassal or their Victorie must die.
A merrie mate amongst the rest, of cloysterers thus told.

THis cloystring and fat feeding of Religious is not old
(Quoth he.) Not long since was a man that did his deuoire giue
To kill the passions of his flesh, and did in penance liue:
And, though beloued of the King, he liued by his sweat:
Affirming men that would not worke vnworthy for to eate.
He told the erring their amisse, and taught them to amend.
He counselled the comfortlesse and all his daies did spend
In prayer and in pouertie. Amongst his doings well
High-waies he mended: doing which this Accident befell.

A dosen Theeues to haue beene hang'd were lead this Hermite by,
To whom he went, exhotting them as Christian-men to dye.
So penitent they were, and he so pitifull (good man)
As to the King for pardon of the Prisoners he ran:
Which got, he gaue it them. But this Prouiso did he add
That they should euer worke as he. They graunt, poore soules, & glad.
He got them gownes of countrey gray, and hoods for raine and cold,
And hempen girdles, (which besides themselues) might burthens hold,
Pick axe and Spade: and hard to worke the Couent sell together,
With Roabes, & Ropes, & eu'rie toole for eu'rie worke & wheather.
So did they toyle as thereabout no Causie was vnwrought:
Wherefore new labours for his men the holie Hermite sought:
But at departure prayed them to fast, to watch, and pray,
And liue remote from worldly men, and goeth so his way.

The holy Theeues (for now in them had custome wrought contēt)
Could much of Scripture and, indeede, did hartely repent.
But when the countrey folke did heare of these same men deuout
Religiously they haunt their Celles, and lastly brought about
That frō the woods to Buildings braue they wound the Hermits crew,
Who was from found-out worke returnde, and their Aposta knew.
He going to their stately place, did finde in euery dish
Fat beefe and brewis, and great store of daintie fowle and fish.
Who seeing their saturitie, and practising to winne
His Puples thence, Excesse, he sayd, doth worke accesse to sinne.
Who fareth finest doth but feeed, and ouer-feedeth oft:
Who sleepeth softest doth but sleepe, and sometimes ouer soft:
Who clads him trimmest is but clad: the fairest is but faire:
And all but liue: yea, if so long, yeat not with lesser care
Than formes, backs, boanes & bellies that more hōely cherisht are.
Learne freedome and felicitie, Hawkes flying where they list
Be kindlier and more sound than Hawkes best tended on the fist.
Thus preacht he promist abstinence, and bids them come away.
No hast but good: well weare they, and so wel, as they would stay.
The godly Hermit, when all meanes in vaine he did perceiue,
Departing sayd: I found you knaues, and knaues I doe you leaue.

Hence sayd this merrie fellowe (if the merriment be trew)
That Cloystring, Friers cloathing, and a Couents number grew.
This heard a simple Northerne-man, no friend to Monke, or Frier,
Or preaching Lymmer: for his speach disclosed thus his yre.

AFowle ill on their weazens, for the Carles garre syke a dinne,
That more we member of their iapes than mend vs of our sinne.
At Ewle we wonten gambole, daunce, to carrole, and to sing,
To haue gud spiced Sewe, and Roste, and plum-pies for a King:
At Fasts-eue pan puffes: Gang tide gaites did alie Masses bring:
At Paske begun our Morrise: and ere Penticost our May:
Tho Roben hood, liell Iohn, Frier Tucke, and Marian deftly play,
And Lard and Ladie gang till Kirke with Lads and Lasses gay:
Fra Masse and Eensong sa gud cheere and glee on ery Greene,
As, saue our wakes twixt Eames and Sibbes, like gam was neuer seene:
At Baptis-day with Ale and cakes bout bon-fires neighbors stood:
At Martelmasse wa turnd a crabbe, thilke told of Roben hood,
Till after long time myrke, whē blest were windowes, dares & lights,
And pails were fild, & hathes were swept, gainst Fairie-elues & sprits:
Rock, & plow Mōdaies gams sal gāg, with saint-feasts & kirk-sights.
Iis tell yee, Clearkes earst racked not of purpoe ne of pall:
Ylke yeoman fed moe poore tume wambes than Gentiles now in Hall,
Yea, ledge they nere sa hally Writ, thilke tide was greater wrang
Than heretoforne: tho words had sooth, na writing now so strāg:
Iis na Wizard, yet I drad it will be warse ere lang.
Belyue doone lyther Kirk-men reaue the crop, and we the tythe,
And mykell bukish ben they gif they tache our lakines blithe.
Some egge vs sla the Prince and shewe a Bullocke fra the Pape,
Whilke, gif it guds the sawle, Iis sure the cragge gangs till the rape:
Syke votion gyles the people, sa but sylde gud Princes scape:
Sa teend our King his life, and song is Requiem for the Monke:
Gud King God rest thy sawle, but Feēds reaue him bath sawle & trōke.

Such talke was long on foote, and still was quittance tale for tale.
Dunstone, quod one, made Edgar, earst an English Monarke, quale
For matter of lesse moment, euen for wedding of a Nunne,
Whom in her Cell the King espi'de, lou'de, wooed, and thus wonne.

THe same (quod he) that rules this Land the same intreateth thee:
Thou maist, sweet Wench, vnto thy selfe deriue a Queene frō me.
What lets, since none may loue thee more, vnles perhaps this Cell,
Too strict a place wherein thy selfe, euē Beauties selfe, shouldst dwell.
Let nature hide her barren formes and imperfections thus,
And in such Puritanes as thou commend her skill to vs.
Thou wrongest Nature, molding thee to molde by thee as faer:
Thou wrōgest mē, that would beget the fruit which thou sholdst baer:
Thou wrong'st thy Countrie of increase: thou wrōg'st me in like sort:
Thou wrong'st thy Kin of kindred: & thou wrong'st thy selfe of sport.
Shouldst thou but dreame what marriage were, thou would'st not liue a maid:
One heart of two, two Soules to one by wedlock is cōuaid.
An husbands open kissings, and his secret coyings, nay,
The very Soule of Loue, more sweet then thou or I can say,
The ioy of babes which thou should'st beare, the Seruice at thy becke,
The sweet consorted common weale of houshold at thy checke,
Would make thee seeme a Goddesse: who, because thou art not such,
Offendest God in hiding of thy Tallent. Too too much
Thou dotest on Virginitie, permitted, not impos'd
On any, saue on such as for no such thy selfe thou knoest.
Els what should meane this penning vp, such vowing, & these Vailes,
Since Vessels onely are of worth that beare in stormes their sailes.
The Scedsters of thine Essence had they been as thou would'st be
Thou hadst not been: Then gratifie the same, thy selfe, and me,
And leaue these superstitious walles: Thou profitst not hereby,
Nor are we male and female borne that fruitlesse we should dye:
Then loue me, for, beleeue me, so will proue a Iubilie.

Her red disperst in shadowed white, did adde to either more,
To her of beautie, and to him Loue greater than before.
She claimes the places priuiledge, and faintly cites a Tex:
She pleades her birth too bace, and playes the No-I of her Sex,
And fighteth as she would be foyld. But, prized, Durstone makes
It Sacrilege: and for to wife the Recluse Edgar takes,
In twelue yeeres would be not annoynt or crowne him King & more,
Enioynes him seuen yeeres pennance, and to edifie and store
Great Monasteries fortie ere Indulgence could be got:
Thus Edgar for his Cloyster cheere did pay this costly shot.