Act V, Scene I

Enter Menaechmus Sosicles, with the mantle on.

Men. Sos. I did very foolishly a while since, in entrusting my purse to Messenio with the money. I suspect he has got himself into some bad house or other.

Enter the Wife of Menaechmus of Epidamnus, from the house.

Wife. I'll look out to see how soon my husband is going to return home. But here he is; I see him; I'm all right, he's bringing back the mantle.

Men. Sos. (to himself). I wonder where Messenio can be walking now.

Wife. I'll go and receive the fellow with such language as he deserves. (Accosting him.) Are you not ashamed to come forward in my presence, you disgraceful man, in that garb?

Men. Sos. What's the matter? What thing is troubling you, woman?

Wife. Do you dare, you shameless fellow, to utter even a single word, or to speak to me?

Men. Sos. Pray, what wrong have I committed, that I shouldn't dare to speak to you?

Wife. Do you ask me? O dear, the impudent audacity of the fellow!

Men. Sos. Don't you know, madam, for what reason the Greeks used to say that Hecuba was a bitch?

Wife. I don't know, indeed. Men. Sos. Because Hecuba used to do the same thing that you are now doing. She used to heap all kinds of imprecations on every one she saw; and, therefore, for that reason she was properly begun to be called a bitch.

Wife. I can't put up with this disgraceful conduct of yours; for I had rather see my life that of a widow, than endure this vile conduct of yours that you are guilty of.

Men. Sos. What is it to me, whether you are able to endure to live in the married state, or whether you will separate from your husband? Is it thus the fashion here to tell these stories to a stranger on his arrival?

Wife. What stories? I say, I'll not endure it henceforth, but live separate rather than put up with these ways.

Men. Sos. Troth, so far indeed as I'm concerned, do live separate, even so long as Jupiter shall hold his sway.

Wife. By heavens, I'll certainly now send for my father, and I'll tell him your disgraceful conduct that you are guilty of. Go, Decio (calling to a Servant), seek for my father, that he may come along with you to me; tell him that occasion has arisen for it. I'll now disclose to him this disgraceful conduct of yours.

Men. Sos. Are you in your senses? What disgraceful conduct of mine?

Wife. When you filch from home my mantle and gold trinkets, without the knowledge of your wife, and carry them off to your mistress. Don't I state this correctly?

Men. Sos. O dear! madam, by my faith, you are both very bold and very perverse. Do you dare to say (pointing at the mantle) that this was stolen from you which another woman gave me, for me to get it trimmed?

Wife. A little while since you didn't deny that you had purloined it from me; do you now hold up that same before my eyes? Are you not ashamed?

Men. Sos. By my faith, madam, I entreat you, if you Know, show me what I'm to drink, by means of which I may put up with your impertinence. What person you are taking me to be, I don't know; I know you just as well as Parthaon.

Wife. If you laugh at me, still, i' troth, you can't do so at him; my father, I mean, who's coming here. Why don't you look back? Do you know that person?

Men. Sos. Just as well as Calchas do I know him; I have seen him on that same day on which I have seen yourself before this present day.

Wife. Do you deny that you know me? Do you deny that you know my father?

Men. Sos. Troth, I shall say the same thing, if you choose to bring your grandfather.

Wife. I' faith, you do this and other things just in a like fashion.