Act II, Scene II

Enter Cylindrus, with a basket of provisions.

Cyl. I've catered well, and to my mind. I'll set a good breakfast before the breakfasters. But see, I perceive Menaechmus. Woe to my back; the guests are now already walking before the door, before I've returned with the provisions. I'll go and accost him. Save you, Menaechmus.

Men. Sos. The Gods bless you, whoever you are. * * * *

Cyl. * * * * who I am?

Mess. I' faith, not I, indeed. Cyl. Where are the other guests?

Men. Sos. What guests are you enquiring about?

Cyl. Your Parasite. Men. Sos. My Parasite? Surely this fellow's deranged.

Mess. Didn't I tell you that there were many swindlers here?

Men. Sos. What Parasite of mine, young man, are you enquiring about?

Cyl. Peniculus. Men. Sos. * * * * Where is my * * * *?

Mess. See, I've got your sponge all safe in the wallet.

Cyl. Menaechmus, you've come here too soon for breakfast; I'm but now returning with the provisions.

Men. Sos. Answer me this, young man: at what price do pigs sell here, unblemished ones, for sacrifice?

Cyl. At a didrachm a-piece.

Men. Sos. (holding out his hand). Receive, then, a didrachm of me; bid a sacrifice be made for you at my expense; for, by my faith, I really am sure in very truth that you are deranged, who are annoying me, a person that's a stranger, whoever you are.

Cyl. I am Cylindrus; don't you know my name?

Men. Sos. Whether you are Cylindrus or Caliendrus, confound you. I don't know you, and, in fact, I don't want to know you.

Cyl. Well, your name, however, is Menaechmus, that I do know.

Men. Sos. You speak like a sane person when you call me by my name. But where have you known me?

Cyl. Where have I known you, you who have Erotium, this mistress of mine (pointing to the house), for your lady?

Men. Sos. By my troth, I have not, nor do I know yourself what person you are.

Cyl. Not know who I am, who have many a time filled the cups for your own self at our house, when you've been drinking?

Mess. Woe to me, that I've got nothing with which to break this fellow's head.

Men. Sos. Are you in the habit of filling the cups for me, who, before this day, have never beheld Epidamnus, nor been there?

Cyl. Do you deny it? Men. Sos. Upon my honor, I decidedly do deny it.

Cyl. Don't you live in that house? (Pointing to the house of Menaechmus of Epidamnus.)

Men. Sos. May the Gods send to perdition those that live there.

Cyl. Surely, this fellow's mad, who is thus uttering curses against his own self. Do you hear, Menaechmus?

Men. Sos. What do you want? Cyl. If you take my advice, that didrachm, which you just now promised to give me--you would order, if you were wise, a pig to be procured with it for yourself. For, i' faith, you really for sure are not in your senses, Menaechmus, who are now uttering curses against your own self.

Men. Sos. Alas! By my faith, a very silly fellow, and an annoyance to me.

Cyl. (to Messenio). He's in the habit of often joking with me in this fashion. How very droll he is, when his wife isn't present. How say you?

Men. Sos. What do you mean, you rascal?

Cyl. (pointing to the basket). Has this that you see been provided in sufficient quantity for three persons, or am I to provide still more for yourself and the Parasite and the lady?

Men. Sos. What ladies--what Parasites are you talking about?

Mess. What, you villain, urges you to be an annoyance to him?

Cyl. Pray what business have you with me? I don't know you; I'm talking to this person, whom I do know.

Men. Sos. By my troth, you are not a person in his right senses, that I know for sure.

Cyl. I'll have these things cooked directly; there shall be no delay. Don't you be going after this anywhere at a distance from the house. Do you want anything?

Men. Sos. You to go to utter and extreme perdition.

Cyl. I' faith, 'twere better for you to go in-doors at once and take your place, while I'm subjecting these things to the strength of the fire. I'll go in-doors now, and tell Erotium that you are standing here, that she may fetch you away hence, rather than you be standing here out of doors. (He goes into the house.)