Act III, Scene VI

Enter PERIPLECOMENUS, with ACROTELEUTIUM and MILPHIDIPPA.

PERIP. (as he advances). I have explained the whole affair, Acroteleutium, to you, and, Milphidippa, to you as well. If you don't well understand this device and plan, I wish you to hear it all over again. If you comprehend it aright, there is something else that we may speak of in preference.

ACROT. I' faith, it would be folly, and ignorance, and foolishness, for me to engage in the service of another, or to promise you my assistance, if, in its fabrication, I did not know how to be either mischievous or clever at deceiving.

PERIP. But, 'tis better for you to be instructed.

ACROT. Really I don't understand of what great use it is for a Courtesan to be instructed. How now! have I told you all in vain, after my ears had drunk in the draughts of your discourse, in what fashion it was possible for the Captain to be cajoled?

PERIP. But no one, unaided, is sufficiently perfect; for full oft have I seen many a person lose the road to good advice before they had found it.

ACROT. If a woman has anything to do mischievously and maliciously, in that case her memory is immortal at remembering it for everlasting; but if anything is to be done for a good purpose, or honestly, it will fall out that those same women will become oblivious that instant, and be unable to remember.

PERIP. Therefore do I fear that same, because both those things happen to be about to be done by us; for that will be a benefit to me in which you both will be acting mischievously towards the Captain.

ACROT. So long as we do anything that's good, not knowing it, don't you fear. No woman is awkward * * * * * Have no apprehensions, they are ready for the worst.

PERIP. So it befits you. Do you follow me.

PAL. (advancing). Why do I hesitate to go and accost them?

PERIP. Well met, and opportunely, Palaestrio. See, here they are whom you commissioned me to bring, and in the very dress.

PAL. Well done: accept my thanks. I am glad that you have come safe. I' faith, you bring them nicely dressed. Palaestrio salutes Acroteleutium.

ACROT. Prithee, who's this, that calls me so familiarly by name?

PERIP. This is our master-plotter.

ACROT. Health to you, master-plotter.

PAL. And health to you. But, tell me, has he any way given you full instructions?

PERIP. I bring them both thoroughly prepared.

PAL. I'd like to hear how. I'm afraid lest you should be making some mistake.

PERIP. I have added to your instructions nothing new of my own.

ACROT. I suppose you wish the Captain, your master, to be gulled.

PAL. You've said what's true.

ACROT. Cleverly and skilfully, adroitly and pleasantly, the whole thing is planned.

PAL. In fact, I wish you to pretend to be his wife. (Points to PERIPLECOMENUS.)

ACROT. That shall be done.

PAL. To pretend as though you had set your affection on the Captain.

ACROT. And so it shall be.

PAL. And as though this affair is managed through me, as the go-between, and your servant-maid.

ACROT. You might have made a good prophet; for you tell what is to be.

PAL. As though this maid of yours had conveyed from you this ring to me, which I was then to deliver to the Captain, in your name.

ACROT. You say what's true.

PERIP. What need is there to mention these things now, which they remember so well?

ACROT. Still, it is better. For think of this, my patron; when the shipwright is skilful, if he has once laid down the keel exact to its lines, 'tis easy to build the ship, when * * * * Now this keel of ours has been skilfully laid and firmly placed; the workmen and the master-builders are not unskilled in this business. If he who furnishes the timber does not retard us in giving what is needed, I know the adroitness of our ingenuity — soon will the ship be got ready.

PAL. You know the Captain, my master, then?

ACROT. 'Tis strange you should ask me. How could I not know that scorn of the public, that swaggering, frizzle-headed, perfumed debauchee?

PAL. But does he know you?

ACROT. He never saw me: how, then, should he know who I am?

PAL. 'Tis most excellent what you say. For that reason, i' faith, the thing will be able to be managed all the more cleverly.

ACROT. Can you only find me the man, and then be easy as to the rest? If I don't make a fool of the fellow, do you lay all the blame on me.

PAL. Well, go you in then; apply yourselves to this business with all your skill.

ACROT. Trust me for that.

PAL. Come, Periplecomenus, do you conduct them at once in-doors. I'm off to the Forum; I'll meet him, and give him this ring, and will tell him that it has been delivered to me from your wife, and that she is dying for him. As soon as we shall have come from the Forum, do you send her (points to MILPHIDIPPA) to our house as though she were privately sent to him.

PERIP. We'll do so; trust us for that.

PAL. Do you only attend to the business; I'll now polish him off with a pretty burden on his back. (Exit.)

PERIP. Go, with good luck to you, manage the matter cleverly. (To ACROTELEUTIUM.) But now, if I shall manage this adroitly, that my guest can this day gain the mistress of the Captain, and carry her off hence to Athens; if, I say, this day we shall succeed in this plan, what shall I give you for a present?

ACROT. * * * * * if now the lady seconds our efforts on her part, I think it will be right cleverly and adroitly managed. When a comparison shall be made of our artifices, I have no fear that I shall not prove superior in the cleverness of my contrivances.

PERIP. Let's go in-doors, then, that we may deeply weigh these plans, that carefully and cautiously we may carry out what is to be done, so that, when the Captain comes, there may be no tripping.

ACROT. You are delaying us with your talk. (Tliey go into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.)