Act IV, Scene I

Enter PYRGOPOLINICES and PALAESTRIO.

PYRG. 'Tis a pleasure what you do, if it succeeds agreably and to your mind. For I this day have sent my Parasite to King Seleucus, to lead those soldiers, that I have levied, hence to Seleucus; in order that they may defend his kingdom till I have leisure to attend in person.

PAL. Why don't you attend to your own concerns rather than those of Seleucus. What a charming new proposal is being offered to you through me as the negotiator.

PYRG. Well then, I lay all other things aside, and I give my attention to you. Speak out: my ears, in fact, I surrender at your disposal.

PAL. Look around, then, that no one here may be an eavesdropper for our discourse; for this business was entrusted me to transact with you in private.

PYRG. (looks around). There's no one near.

PAL. In the first place, receive from me this pledge of affection. (Gives him the ring.)

PYRG. What's this? Whence comes it?

PAL. From a charming and a handsome lady, one who loves you, and dotes upon your extreme beauty. Her maid just now gave me the ring that I might then give it to you.

PYRG. What? Is she free born or a freed woman, made free from a slave by the Praetor's rod?

PAL. Pshaw! Should I presume to be the bearer of a message to you from a person once a slave, who cannot sufficiently answer the demands of the free women who are longing for you?

PYRG. Is she wife, or is she widow?

PAL. She is both wife and widow.

PYRG. In what way is it possible for the same woman to be a wife and a widow?

PAL. Because she is a young woman married to an old man.

PYRG. That's good.

PAL. She is of genteel and charming person.

PYRG. Beware of misrepresenting.

PAL. It is alone worthy to be compared with your own charms.

PYRG. By my faith, you make her out to be a beauty. But who is she?

PAL. The wife of that old gentleman, Periplecomenus, next door. She is dying for you, and wishes to leave him; she hates the old fellow. Now she has begged me to entreat and beseech you that you will give her your support and assistance.

PYRG. I' faith, I'm ready for my part if she desires it.

PAL. Doesn't she long for it?

PYRG. What shall we do with that mistress of mine, who is at my house?

PAL. Why, do you bid her to be gone about her business, wherever she chooses; as her twin-sister has come here to Ephesus, and her mother, and they are come to fetch her.

PYRG. Ha! what's that you say? Has her mother come to Ephesus?

PAL. Those say so who know it.

PYRG. I' faith, a charming opportunity for me to turn the wench out of doors.

PAL. Aye, but do you wish to do the thing handsomely?

PYRG. Speak out, and give me your advice.

PAL. Do you wish to pack her off forthwith, that she may quit you with a good grace?

PYRG. I do so wish.

PAL. Then this is the thing you must do. You have a superabundance of wealth; bid the woman to keep as a present for herself the gold and trinkets which you have supplied her with, and to take herself off from your house wherever she likes.

PYRG. It pleases me what you say; but yet, only think, if I should lose her, and the other change her mind?

PAL. Pshaw! you're over nice; a lady, that loves you as her own eyes.

PYRG. Ve us befriends me.

PAL. Hist! hush! the door is opening; come this way a little out of sight. (MILPHIDIPPA comes out of the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.) This is her fly-boat — her go-between, that's coming out there.

PYRG. How so— fly-boat?

PAL. This is her maid that is coming out of the house, she that brought that ring which I delivered to you.

PYRG. I' faith, she too is a prettyish wench.

PAL. This one is a little monkey and an owl in comparison with the other. Do you see how she hunts around with her eyes, and goes fowling about with her ears. (They stand aside.)