Act II, Scene IV

Enter SCELEDRUS from the Captain's house.

SCEL. Unless, in fact, I have been walking this day in my sleep upon the tiles, i' faith, I know for sure that I have seen here, at our neighbour's next door, Philocomasium, the lady of my master, on the high road to mischief to herself.

PAL. (aside). 'Twas he that saw her billing, so far as I have heard him say.

SCEL. Who's that?

PAL. Your fellow-servant. How are you, Sceledrus?

SCEL. I am glad that I have met you, Palaestrio.

PAL. What now? Or what's the matter? Let me know.

SCEL. I'm afraid.

PAL. What are you afraid of?

SCEL. By my troth, lest, this day, as many domestics a? there are of us here, we shall jump into a most woful punishment by way of torture.

PAL. Jump you alone, please; for I don't at all like this jumping in and jumping out.

SCEL. Perhaps you don't know what new mischance has happened at home?

PAL. What mischance is this?

SCEL. A disgraceful one.

PAL. Do you then keep it to yourself alone: don't tell it me; I don't want to know it.

SCEL. But I won't let you not know it. To-day I was following our monkey upon the tiles, next door there. (Points to the house.)

PAL. By my troth, Sceledrus, a worthless fellow, you were following a worthless beast.

SCEL. The Gods confound you!

PAL. That befits yourself, since you began the conversation.

SCEL. By chance, as it happened, I looked down there through the skylight, into the next house; and there I saw Philocomasium toying with some strange young man, I know not whom.

PAL. What scandalous thing is this I hear of you, Sceledrus?

SCEL. I' faith, I did see her, beyond a doubt.

PAL. What, yourself?

SCEL. Yes, I myself, with these eyes of mine.

PAL. Get away, it isn't likely what you say, nor did you see her.

SCEL. Do I, then, appear to you as if I were purblind?

PAL. 'Twere better for you to ask the doctor about that. But, indeed, if the Gods only love you, don't you rashly father this idle story. Now are you breeding thence a fatal dilemma for your legs and head; for, in two ways, the cause is contrived for you to be ruined, unless you put a check upon your foolish chattering.

SCEL. But how, two ways?

PAL. I'll tell you. First then, if you falsely accuse Philocomasium, by that you are undone; in the next place, if it is true, having been appointed her keeper, there you are undone.

SCEL. What may happen to me, I know not; I know for certain that I did see this.

PAL. Do you persist in it, unfortunate wretch?

SCEL. What would you have me say to you, but that I did see her? Moreover, she is in there, next door, at this very moment.

PAL. What! Isn't she at home?

SCEL. Go and see. Go in-doors yourself; for I don't ask now for any confidence to be put in me.

PAL. I'm determined to do so.

SCEL. I'll wait here for you. (PALAESTRIO goes into the Captain's house.)