Stanzas I–X

I
Ef you don't know DOC SIFERS I'll
jes argy, here and now,
You've bin a mighty little while
about here, anyhow!
'Cause Doc he's rid these roads and woods--
er swum 'em, now and then--
And practised in this neighberhood
sence hain't no tellin' when!

II
In radius o' fifteen mile'd,
all p'ints o' compass round,
No man er woman, chick er child,
er team, on top o' ground,
But knows him--yes, and got respects
and likin' fer him, too,
Fer all his so-to-speak dee-fects
o' genius showin' through!

III
Some claims he's absent-minded; some
has said they wuz afeard
To take his powders when he come
and dosed 'em out, and 'peared
To have his mind on somepin' else--
like County Ditch, er some
New way o' tannin' mussrat-pelts,
er makin' butter come.

IV
He's cur'ous--they hain't no mistake
about it!--but he's got
Enough o' extry brains to make
a jury--like as not.
They's no describin' Sifers,--fer,
when all is said and done,
He's jes hisse'f Doc Sifers--ner
they hain't no other one!

V
Doc's allus sociable, polite,
and 'greeable, you'll find--
Pervidin' ef you strike him right
and nothin' on his mind,--
Like in some hurry, when they've sent
fer Sifers quick, you see,
To 'tend some sawmill-accident,
er picnic jamboree;

VI
Er when the lightnin' 's struck some hare-
brained harvest-hand; er in
Some 'tempt o' suicidin'--where
they'd ort to try ag'in!
I've knowed Doc haul up from a trot
and talk a' hour er two
When railly he'd a-ort o' not
a-stopped fer "Howdy-do!"

VII
And then, I've met him 'long the road,
a-lopin',--starin' straight
Ahead,--and yit he never knowed
me when I hollered "Yate,
Old Saddlebags!" all hearty-like,
er "Who you goin' to kill?"
And he'd say nothin'--only hike
on faster, starin' still!

VIII
I'd bin insulted, many a time,
ef I jes wuzn't shore
Doc didn't mean a thing. And I'm
not tetchy any more
Sence that-air day, ef he'd a-jes
a-stopped to jaw with me,
They'd bin a little dorter less
in my own fambily!

IX
Times now, at home, when Sifers' name
comes up, I jes let on,
You know, 'at I think Doc's to blame,
the way he's bin and gone
And disapp'inted folks--'Ll-jee-mun-nee!
you'd ort to then
Jes hear my wife light into me--
"ongratefulest o' men!"

X
'Mongst all the women--mild er rough,
splendifferous er plain,
Er them with sense, er not enough
to come in out the rain,--
Jes ever' shape and build and style
o' women, fat er slim--
They all like Doc, and got a smile
and pleasant word fer him!