Act V, Scene VI

Enter LACHES.

LACH. (to himself.) I have this advantage from my country-house being so near at hand; no weariness, either of country or of town, ever takes possession of me; when satiety begins to come on, I change my locality. But is not that our Parmeno? Surely it is he. Whom are you waiting for, Parmeno, before the door here?

PAR. (pretends not to see him.) Who is it? (Turning round.) Oh, I’m glad that you have returned safe.

LACH. Whom are you waiting for?

PAR. (aside.) I’m undone: my tongue cleaves to my mouth through fright.

LACH. Why, what is it you are trembling about? Is all quite right? Tell me.

PAR. Master, in the first place, I would have you persuaded of what is the fact; whatever has happened in this affair has happened through no fault of mine.

LACH. What is it?

PAR. Really you have reason to ask. I ought first to have told you the circumstances. Phædria purchased a certain Eunuch, to make a present of to this woman here.

LACH. To what woman?

PAR. To Thais.

LACH. Bought? Good heavens, I’m undone! For how much?

PAR. Twenty minæ.

LACH. Done for, quite.

PAR. Then, Chærea is in love with a certain music-girl here. (Pointing to THAIS’S house.)

LACH. How! What? In love? Does he know already what a courtesan means? Is he come to town? One misfortune close upon another.

PAR. Master, don’t look so at me; he didn’t do these things by my encouragement.

LACH. Leave off talking about yourself. If I live, you hang-dog, I’ll---- But first give me an account of it, whatever it is.

PAR. He was taken to the house of Thais in place of the Eunuch.

LACH. In place of the Eunuch?

PAR. Such is the fact. They have since apprehended him in the house as a ravisher, and bound him.

LACH. Death!

PAR. Mark the assurance of courtesans.

LACH. Is there any other calamity or misfortune besides, that you have not told me of?

PAR. That’s all.

LACH. Do I delay rushing in here? (Runs into the house of THAIS.)

PAR. (to himself.) There’s no doubt but that I shall have a heavy punishment for this affair, only that I was obliged to act thus. I’m glad of this, that some mischief will befall these women here through my agency, for the old man has, for a long time, been on the look-out for some occasion to do them a bad turn; at last he has found it.