Act III, Scene II

Enter SYRUS from the house of CHREMES.

SYR. (aloud to himself.) Run to and fro in every direction; still, money, you must be found: a trap must be laid for the old man.

CHREM. (apart, overhearing him.) Was I deceived in saying that they were planning this? That servant of Clinia’s is somewhat dull; therefore that province has been assigned to this one of ours.

SYR. (in a low voice.) Who’s that speaking? (Catches sight of CHREMES.) I’m undone! Did he hear it, I wonder?

CHREM. Syrus.

SYR. Well--

CHREM. What are you doing here?

SYR. All right. Really, I am quite surprised at you, Chremes, up so early, after drinking so much yesterday.

CHREM. Not too much.

SYR. Not too much, say you? Really, you’ve seen the old age of an eagle, as the saying is.

CHREM. Pooh, pooh!

SYR. A pleasant and agreeable woman this Courtesan.

CHREM. Why, so she seemed to me, in fact.

SYR. And really of handsome appearance.

CHREM. Well enough.

SYR. Not like those of former days, but as times are now, very passable: nor do I in the least wonder that Clinia doats upon her. But he has a father-- a certain covetous, miserable, and niggardly person-- this neighbor of ours (pointing to the house). Do you know him? Yet, as if he was not abounding in wealth, his son ran away through want. Are you aware that it is the fact, as I am saying?

CHREM. How should I not be aware? A fellow that deserves the mill.

SYR. Who?

CHREM. That servant of the young gentleman, I mean.

SYR. (aside.) Syrus! I was sadly afraid for you.

CHREM. To suffer it to come to this!

SYR. What was he to do?

CHREM. Do you ask the question? He ought to have found some expedient, contrived some stratagem, by means of which there might have been something for the young man to give to his mistress, and thus have saved this crabbed old fellow in spite of himself.

SYR. You are surely joking.

CHREM. This ought to have been done by him, Syrus.

SYR. How now-- pray, do you commend servants, who deceive their masters?

CHREM. Upon occasion-- I certainly do commend them.

SYR. Quite right.

CHREM. Inasmuch as it often is the remedy for great disturbances. Then would this man’s only son have staid at home.

SYR. (aside.) Whether he says this in jest or in earnest, I don’t know; only, in fact, that he gives me additional zest for longing still more to trick him.

CHREM. And what is he now waiting for, Syrus? Is it until his father drives him away from here a second time, when he can no longer support her expenses? Has he no plot on foot against the old gentleman?

SYR. He is a stupid fellow.

CHREM. Then you ought to assist him-- for the sake of the young man.

SYR. For my part, I can do so easily, if you command me; for I know well in what fashion it is usually done.

CHREM. So much the better, i’ faith.

SYR. ’Tis not my way to tell an untruth.

CHREM. Do it then.

SYR. But hark you! Just take care and remember this, in case any thing of this sort should perchance happen at a future time, such are human affairs! --your son might do the same.

CHREM. The necessity will not arise, I trust.

SYR. I’ faith, and I trust so too: nor do I say so now, because I have suspected him in any way; but in case, none the more-- You see what his age is; (aside) and truly, Chremes, if an occasion does happen, I may be able to handle you right handsomely.

CHREM. As to that, we’ll consider what is requisite when the occasion does happen. At present do you set about this matter. (Goes into his house.)

SYR. (to himself.) Never on any occasion did I hear my master talk more to the purpose; nor at any time could I believe that I was authorized to play the rogue with greater impunity. I wonder who it is coming out of our house? (Stands aside.)