Mister What's-His-Name of Seboomook

Have you ever heard Seboomook with her April dander up,
With the amber rushing river gorged to highest drivin' pitch?
Have you heard her boom and bellow--rocky lips a-froth with yellow--
When she spews and spumes the torrents-- oh, the wild and wicked witch?
She has menace in her breath,
And she roars the chant of death,
For the victim that she slavers never sees the sun again.
And she clutches at the river,
With entreaty that it give her
The morsels for her longing, which are men-- men--men!
Here's a tale to suit the cynic--'tis a satire from the woods,
And concerns a certain hero who was hunting after Fame;
'Tis the grim and truthful story of a mighty reach for glory,
But, alas, he didn't get it, for we've clean forgot his name!

He was one of Murphy's crew,
And he swore that he'd go through
Where no other West Branch driver ever saved the shirt he wore:
For he vowed he'd shoot the gorge
And allowed that he could dodge
The Death that knelt a-clutching at the prey the waters bore.

When they said he couldn't do it, why, he laughed the crowd to scorn,
--Poled across the dimpling shallows with a fierce and hoarse good-by
--He was Murphy's top-notch driver, half a bird and one-half diver,
But the best who brave Seboomook only sound the depths to die.

And they found him miles below;
But his mother would not know
The mangled mass Seboomook belched from out her vap'rous throat.
The first man coming down
Brought the story out to town,
Referring to the hero as a "dretful reckless goat."

Then he told the brisk reporters all the grim and grisly tale,
And the deed was dressed in language in a way to bring some fame.
But alas for human glory, the galoot who brought the story,
Remembered all the details, but forgot the fellow's name.

Have you ever heard Seboomook roaring at you in the night,
With her champing jaws a-frothing in a wordless howl of hate?
'Tis a fierce vociferation to compel our admiration,
For the chap who struck that rugged blow, cross-countered thus by Fate.

When he lunged his pole at Death,
When the river sucked his breath,
Seboomook gravely listened when he screamed his humble name;
For the honor of a foe
She would have the people know,
But she vainly dins her message in the deafened ear of Fame.