Book V, Epigram 49 (Ker)

When, as it chanced, I saw you just now in your seat, I fancied your single self, Labienus, was three persons: my calculation of your bald pate came out wrong. You have on that side hairs, you have hairs on this, such as might grace even a boy; and your head in the middle is bare, and no single shoot is noticed in its long expanse. This confusion was profitable to you in December, just when the Emperor sent round lunches; you went home with three baskets of bread. Geryon was like you, I am sure. You should avoid — in my opinion — the Portico of Philippus; if Hercules sees you, you are undone!