Act IV, Scene IV

DICCON.
Now lack I but my doctor to play his part again.
And lo, where he cometh towards, peradventure to his pain!

DOCTOR RAT.
What good news, Diccon, fellow? is mother Chat at home?

DICCON.
She is, sir, and she is not, but it please her to whom;
Yet did I take her tardy, as subtle as she was.

DOCTOR RAT.
The thing that thou went'st for, hast thou brought it
to pass?

DICCON.
I have done that I have done, be it worse, be it better,
And dame Chat at her wits-end I have almost set her.

DOCTOR RAT.
Why, hast thou spied the nee'le? quickly, I pray thee,
tell!

DICCON.
I have spied it, in faith, sir, I handled myself so well;
And yet the crafty quean had almost take my trump.
But, ere all came to an end, I set her in a dump.

DOCTOR RAT.
How so, I pray thee, Diccon?

DICCON.
Marry, sir, will ye hear?
She was clapp'd down on the backside, by Cock's mother dear,
And there she sat sewing a halter or a band,
With no other thing save gammer's needle in her hand.
As soon as any knock, if the filth be in doubt,
She needs but once puff, and her candle is out:
Now I, sir, knowing of every door the pin,
Came nicely, and said no word, till time I was within;
And there I saw the nee'le, even with these two eyes;
Whoever say the contrary, I will swear he lies.

DOCTOR RAT.
O Diccon, that I was not there then in thy stead!

DICCON.
Well, if ye will be ordered, and do by my reed,
I will bring you to a place, as the house stands,
Where ye shall take the drab with the nee'le in her hands.

DOCTOR RAT.
For God's sake do so, Diccon, and I will gage my gown
To give thee a full pot of the best ale in the town.

DICCON.
Follow me but a little, and mark what I will say;
Lay down your gown beside you, go to, come on your way!
See ye not what is here? a hole wherein ye may creep
Into the house, and suddenly unawares among them leap;
There shall ye find the bitch-fox and the nee'le together.
Do as I bid you, man, come on your ways hither!

DOCTOR RAT.
Art thou sure, Diccon, the swill-tub stands not
hereabout?

DICCON.
I was within myself, man, even now, there is no doubt.
Go softly, make no noise; give me your foot, sir John,
Here will I wait upon you, till you come out anon.

[D. Rat creeps in.]

DOCTOR RAT.
[Calling from within.]
Help, Diccon! out alas! I shall
be slain among them!

DICCON.
If they give you not the needle, tell them that ye will
hang them.
Ware that! How, my wenches! have ye caught the fox,
That used to make revel among your hens and cocks?
Save his life yet for his order, though he sustain some pain.
Gog's bread! I am afraid they will beat out his brain.

DOCTOR RAT.
Woe worth the hour that I came here!
And woe worth him that wrought this gear!
A sort of drabs and queans have me blest--
Was ever creature half so evil drest?
Whoever it wrought, and first did invent it
He shall, I warrant him, ere long repent it!
I will spend all I have without my skin
But he shall be brought to the plight I am in!
Master Baily, I trow, and he be worth his ears,
Will snaffle these murderers, and all that them bears:
I will surely neither bite nor sup
Till I fetch him hither, this matter to take up.